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2 Bumps

Why her and not me?

I'm a few years younger. I'm married, and she's a single mom. My hubby is in the Army, so we wouldn't have to pay anything.
In August I had a baseline mamo. I saw a cyst, but there was 2. I went for a follow up mamo. And had a ultrasound. I was supposed to go back in 6 months for another follow up. But, last week we found out my sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She has it in both breasts. Why her, and not me? Will I end up with something worse? I am angry and scared. Everyone says she will be fine, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Why her and not me? She's had a hard enough life already.


Asked by Raine2001 at 11:20 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (24,018 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • There is no magical answer to why her and not you hun. That is one thing about life. You may never know why certain things happen to certain people and not others. I have a few ideas (religiously speaking) as to why, but honestly, they wouldn't help right now. The best advice I can give you is to just support your sister the best you can. Also, it's ok to get mad at the cancer and the situation. Anger is a normal emotion. You can use that emotion to push you and your sister through this and come out all the better on the other side. I'll send light to both you and her.

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 4:40 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I am so sorry honey. This has to be such a shock to all of you! Honey, just do all that you can to help her and support her through this. No one can answer your questions, but I am truly sorry.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:25 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • *hugs* I wish I had an easy answer, but sometimes it seems there isn't any rhyme or reason to this sort of thing. And it's okay to be scared and angry right now. I think if places were reversed, most of us would feel the exact same way.

    I do think you should try to find all the support you can, so that, in turn, you can be emotionally and physically strong enough to support your family, including your sister.

    Answer by geminilove at 11:27 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • It's the random roll of the dice plus a dash of genetics. There is no mystical meaning for her to have cancer and for you not to have it at this time. I sorry to hear she has cancer but with support and good meds, she'll get though this and so will you.


    Answer by isabellalecour at 12:52 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • pray that god will remove it with faith and pray also that you would stop feeling that way i know it is hard but it woould harder with breast cancer

    Answer by shilling at 1:25 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • All I can say is God knows what he's doing... I know it's hard to have complete faith in him, but these are the times that you let him carry you guys through...

    Answer by SusieQue717 at 2:09 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Pray about it. Being angry and scared are 2 emotions of the devil and are not helping you at all, are they?

    Answer by ABusyBee at 11:26 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Sounds to me like you're feeling guilty for being healthy. Don't. Bad things happen to good people.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 12:43 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I do feel guilty. And sad, and angry. And scared. Things just started going really good for her, now this. She say's she's ok with it, but I don't believe that. I'm certainly not ok with it, I've not come to terms with it. I cry very day.

    Thank you all.

    Comment by Raine2001 (original poster) at 3:12 PM on Sep. 16, 2010