Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

leaving with our child, i think i covered legal end, but still nervous

we are NOT married
child three- in sp ed through IEP
i have called new school district (hour and a half away) this is in the works for her sp ed

i heard from moms on here to file for custody with courthouse
i called spoke to court commisionor, she said there are no papers to fill out, that as mom and NOT married i can leave with child, i called a lawyer for same question, he also said that i can leave with child, the father is on birth certificate he signed, but because not married, the mother has the rights until the father files for visitation etc.

I still am worried, when i leave, if i have daughter enrolled in new school, in a nice home-my mom's, i do not have a job yet, but that means i can care for her full time when she is not in 2.5 hours a day special ed for three yr olds...i have been sahm so i have been to ALL therapies, IEP, auti

what am i missing-anything??
please help me cover all the bases


Asked by fiatpax at 11:38 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I agree with lovin.
    In my state whoever has the kid can go file custody.
    He can take your baby out of the cart at the store and file custody then you'll have to fight for her back.

    My ex sil went through this with her husband. She was holding their son, he asked to hug the kid goodbye and snatched him out of her arms. He ended up getting full permanent custody of their son.

    Call more lawyers. Get as much info as you can.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 11:45 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • you can leave, but without a court order the father can pick the child up from school without your permission, take her and keep her, depending on the state. You need to file first and get the order in your favor, if you don't want that to happen.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:41 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • do i file at new location
    or the town i am leavin
    and what is thename of the paperwork
    what am i looking to file??

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 11:42 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • As long as the court and the Lawyer say you are all set.... GO!!! I wish you peace!!!


    Answer by Morgain at 11:42 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • How ar eyou going to handle him visiting her? She will prob want to see him before court decides something and if he is safe then she should be able to see her dad. Make sure the school knows if they can release her to him.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:43 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • It sounds to me like you have it all covered. If he doesn't have any vivitation, or any custody papers filed, then you're okay to move if needed. I would think the only reason you would have to inform him of anything is if you have lived together and have a custody aggreement, and it's on file with the courts. If you want to be extra safe, send him a certified letter with all of your contact info. That way he will know how to contact you in case he does want to see her, and you're covered so if he were to take it to court he can't say he didn't know where you are.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:45 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • whereever you file is where the court will take place. You usually have to be a resident where ever you file so you would have start recieveing mail and wait 90 days at your new residence...change address on your license. Call and find out what makes you a resident. You would file for child support and he would file for visitation. If you dont want child support then you may not have to file for anything.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:45 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Depending on where you move there is different jursidiction laws. I just moved with my two sons out of state and i have to wait 90 days before i can file for custody down here. When your child was born there should of been an affidavit of parentage signed in order for the childs dad to be on the birth certificate. that paper gives u automatic full custody until it is established in the courts. so if the childs dad was to pick the child up from school you can take that piece of paper to the police and tell them to go get ur child. not saying they will cooperate cuz they lazy when it comes to domestic/child matters, but if you hound them enough and keep buggin them it will happen
    Nicole B.

    Answer by Nicole B. at 11:47 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • he will be more than a hour away and he works full time m-f
    yesterday am, he told me that if i can not do this fetish thing to him, when it will not work for us, i said when i have to go with our daughter and live with my mom(hour half away) and you will not see her much, maybe everyother weekend, i asked if he thought of that, he said yes, i asked if this was upsetting to him and he shrugged
    i think for a few weeks, he will totally enjoy not being a full time day (his two older kids-not mine-are with him 50%) but after his fun free single days wear off and he finds that there maybe not so many great woma out there to do his fetish thing-MAYBE- he will want some time with her, by then i hope to be all set up at moms-have her in school, her house not run down with leaking roof and peeling paint-maybe this will help, but i think as a sahm living in nice house and great school system etc-he will not be able to say he is better

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 11:48 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Ok, gotta ask, what is his fetish thing?

    Answer by Candi1024 at 11:53 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

Next question in Relationships
Can you believe this??

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
What can i do??