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The terrible twos are going to send me to the looney bin

My daughter is driving me crazy. She has had 5 meltdowns already today about the most trivial things. The second she doesn't get her way, she goes postal. I had to put her in her room, because I can't handle the constant snapping out. She turned her toy off by accident and had a total meltdown. She has discovered MINE..that's fun. She'll say something (not ask for it) and then start screaming and crying because it doesn't suddenly appear. She doesn't even wait a second for someone to get it for her (which I won't unless she asks nicely anyway). I know part of the problem is her grandparents, because if she says jump they say "Where, when, how high and how many times?" I have been decreasing the number of visits due to this, because she is just rotten when she returns. She can be very sweet most of the day, but in the mornings, she's awful. Please someone offer advice or something. How did you deal with this stage?


Asked by BridgetC140 at 11:50 AM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • I agree with the time out. We do that, and there are definitely some days where there are more than others. You can tell her you won't help her with what she needs unless she asks nicely. She needs to say, "Milk please!" or something to that effect. Tell her to be patient while you get what she needs (even the best 2 year old isn't always patient!). The don't yet have a sense that it takes time to make a snack appear or things like that.
    You need to sit down with her grandparents and have a talk with them. Explain to them that you need their cooperation in raising your daughter to be polite and to be patient (among other positive traits).
    Ignoring her behavior can be the best way to go, even when she's screaming, kicking, full on tantrum throwing. She needs to know that behavior won't get your attention and make her get what she wants. You can do time outs to nip things in the bud, but once it gets bad, just walk away.

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:56 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • lol when they are about 13-16, you'll long for the twos again, at least you can physically control someone that little lol. Hang in there.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 12:04 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I am raising my granddaughter she is 2 when she does that I put her in time out for 2 minutes that usually works, I have been using time out o for about 3 months and it works good luck I hope this will help Linda Giguere

    Answer by LindaGig at 11:52 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I'm not there yet with my 1yearold twin boys, (hope i live through it lol) but youre not letting her see that its getting to you right?
    the only advice i can think of is, ignore it, be consistant with any discipline, and make sure youre prasing her good behavoir like crazy.
    i worked with two year olds in a daycare and had 7 to myself usually (sometimes ihad 14 and then an assistant teacher that was no help at all) and I had to do a lot of ignoring and walking away for my own sanity.

    if its really getting to you, take a deep breath in really slow while you count to ten, hold for three seconds, and breathe out really slow for ten seconds and do that three times or more. it really decreases your level of stress and aniexty.

    hope that helps a little, good luck

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 11:54 AM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • when grandma and grandpa are around it is harder for me. My daughter just turned 3. I think some days are better then others, but other days OMG!!! We had a day like that on Monday.

    Answer by sta517 at 12:06 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • stick with the time out. i know you said the ignoring doesn't work but do that and walk into another room or right out the door to where you still can hear her so you know she is not getting hurt or any thing but just try that and take deep breaths and try to relax. or if you have some one who can help you out right then and there ask them to come and help you so you can get away and relax for like 2 or so minutes. then come back when she is done with her temper tantrum and ask her what she wanted and say you have to ask for it nicely if you dont you will not get it . i have to do that with my 21 moth old from time to time and we have been doing that since she was about 8 months

    Answer by luv2run88 at 1:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I would say try time outs, and let her sit there for 2 min. Usually by then mine is still crying but when I appear she stops. THen we talk about it. This has helped and sometimes mine just needs a good cry. This is frustrating for them, they don't have the vocab to express everything, nor the maturity to express themselves in a way that is necessarily understood. MIne will cry that I didn't do something or give her something, but it is really all about her throat hurting, but or course I don't realize this it I notice her wiping her little nose.

    I have put myself in time out, that helps me out. Or grap a pillow and scream into it. I mean sometimes you just need some time to yourself.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 7:54 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Yes, I try to ignore it, but it's hard when she's screaming at the top of her lungs. For instance, she'll want milk. Instead of saying "Milk please Mama" She just says "MILK!" waawwawawaaaaaaawaa.....screaming psychotically. I approach and try to get her attention to ask her what she wants calmly, but she just keeps screaming. When she asks nicely, I do praise her. I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. Don't worry..I'm not a spanking Mama, so that's not an issue......only my sanity.

    Comment by BridgetC140 (original poster) at 11:59 AM on Sep. 15, 2010