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I would like pros and cons to having babies a year apart :)

I would like to have 3 children with in 3 years. Everyone keeps telling me I am nuts. I have a few reasons for wanting them so close but I would like to hear from you (mom's with kids close and not close in age) on the pro's and con's of having kids close together :)

 
JackJacksMomma

Asked by JackJacksMomma at 12:31 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I feel ya, girl! I have a DS who turned 2 in June and a DD who turned 1 in May. (11 months apart) and now we're trying for #3. That's the way MY HUSBAND AND I wanted it. I get a lot of weird looks and people who don't understand, though. I agree with what SAHMinIL said. Some things are easier with them being close together, but some things are harder. Trips to town with the kids by yourself is out the window. You will have to take the garbage out 2-3 times a day, and the majoriy of it is stinky diapers. They like to team up together to "get into mischief".

    **HOWEVER**

    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 12:55 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I have 2 and they are 10 months apart. I would be lying if I said it was easy, but I also would be lying if I said it's hard. I don't know I just did it and everything turn out okay and is still turning out okay. (they are only 6 and 7). Recently I've had the ability to watch my nephew for extend period of time. (The weekend, a week here or there) and I can tell you that's it's draining on me just to have the one baby, which is nuts, because I'm left with well how the heck did I do it with two?? LOL

    I think when you are in that situation, that you learn to do it and it's fine. An outsider walking in trying to do it for a day, or 2, or a week, is going to be overwhelmed, even if they did it themselves before. One things is as your child grows you grow with them. :)
    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 12:44 PM on Oct. 17, 2008


  • It's truly a beautiful thing to watch them together. I really believe they love EACH OTHER more than they love me or my Husband. They're SO protective of each other. If I have to put one in time-out, the other one has a screaming, crying, "Oh man, I'm dying" kind of fit! They're actually really good about sharing toys. (which is amazing for a 1 year old & 2 year old.) At night, after reading a bedtime story (which they have to be right beside each other for), they will give each other a "nite-nite" hug and kiss. If one is sick, the other one will wipe their nose for them, bring them a cup, find them a blanket. They have a remarkable, unbreakable bond that I don't think they would have with a larger age-gap. Iw ouldn't change it for anything in the world!
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 12:56 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My sister had twins 14 months after having her first. (I can't give you any info. from my own experience). They are now 3 and 2, and from spending a lot of time with them, I can tell you that she is ORGANIZED. They are on a pretty strict meal, nap, bath and bedtime schedule. She says that's the only way she can get through the day.
    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 2:16 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My daughter who was born 15 months later says "he's my first friend", her brother and her are still close 10 years later. Con was having two car seats when shopping at the little ages. Trying to find drive thrus of every kind to avoid the whole field trip thing. Better than far apart because then you contend with the emotional development and impact of a second child when close together it's like it's all they've known.
    notjustamom380

    Answer by notjustamom380 at 3:18 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Mine are 10 & 12, (1 one year & 10 months apart.) THey are very close emotionally, and I was done with the numerous check-ups, immunizations, diapers and learning to feed, walk and talk all around the same time. Nighttime feedings, all of that stuff was done with a year of each other. And they are both in school at the same time so I am free to work or go to school or whatever. The drawbacks is that they fight more than maybe farther apart children would. I can't have 1 babysit the other because they are so clse together, and when one is at a certain age and allowed to do something (get a cell phone, drive, date, etc), the other has the mind set where they WANT to but they still have to wait. Whereas between my brother and I its 6 years and when he drove and dated I was 10, no interest whatsoever in that. So its hard when the youngest has to still wait another year or two.
    seakla

    Answer by seakla at 3:29 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My older 2 r a yr. & 8 days apart & as trying as it was @ xs, it was also easy bc they were in diapers @ the same x & when my son (the older of the 2, 10) was potty trained, my oldest daughter (9) followed rite behind him. Then there's 3 yrs. between my oldest & youngest daughter (soon 2 b 6). And the most frustrating part is w/ my daughters. @ xs, it seems like they spend more x fighting that being sisters. But the most rewarding part was that when my oldest daughter was born, my son took rite 2 her w/ no jealousy & him & my older daughter were the same way when my youngest daughter (& LAST lol) was born.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 5:08 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I had my 4 in 2 1/2 years. Wasn't planned that way, but thats the way it happened. I love it. They are now 4, 3, 3, and 2, and they always have someone to play with, they have a huge bond and sence of responsibility for their brothers. I spent my days just taking care of babies. No one was short changed because of having them so close together. They don't know any different. No one was ever jealous because their brothers were always there. I believe my boys have learned great social skills being so close. Sharing and patience 2 of them. If you want it that way, go for it.

    barrettboys

    Answer by barrettboys at 9:46 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Oh, and the con's... you have to plan everything a day before you do it. Right down to going shopping. You can't just jump in the car and go. There are moments when you want to jump out a window, but I think that happens no matter what the age difference.

    Oh, and a pro... they learn independence at an early age. How to dress themselves, put their own shoes on, stuff like that.
    barrettboys

    Answer by barrettboys at 9:53 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

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