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how can i tell my friend i cant help her out 2 times a week?

My friend babysits two children in her home and also has a boy of her own she just signed her child up for mothers day out and wanted me to come to her home so she could take him and pick him up his first day. She does come right back home after dropping him off but she has done asked me to come to her house again on Friday to watch them again so she can take him I told her my child has a doc appt that afternoon and couldn't be there at that time she still asked if i could come at least that morning so I told her I would I also babysit so I have to pack up the kids I watch to go watch hers...I don't know how to tell her I can't I just don't have the gas for going to her house 2 days out of the week I am struggling with money now I know she will be like here is gas money but still my children get off schedule when I go to her house....I really never tell people no when they ask if i can do something and I feel bad b/c she has

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You tell her that you're really sorry, you wish you could help her, but you really can't come to her house to do it.

    If you don't mind watching the kids, but just don't want to go to her house to do it, you can say "but, since you have to be out and about to take your kid anyway, if you want to drop the others off here for a few minutes just this week, (make sure you include the "for a few MINUTES" - not "a little while" and "just this week" or however long you're willing to do it), then that would be ok. If she's going to have to load them all up and take them anyway, she's probably not going to bother with dropping them off.

    If she gets mad about this arrangement, then you look at her and, not in a mad or mean way, say "oh, believe me, I understand not wanting to load them all up and take them, and how disruptive it can be. Honestly, that's part of why I would rather you bring them here, because

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't see why she can't take the other children she watches with her to drop him off. If it were me, I would just tell her if she needed someone to watch the others, she could bring them to my house and I would watch her for them for the time it took to get him there.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • cont

    because it's so disruptive to your schedule for you and the kids you're watching, too. If she still gets mad about it, then you calmly look at her and say "so, you're saying that it's ok for my routine to be disrupted, my gas to be used, and me to be inconvenienced so you can do this, but you aren't willing to be that inconvenienced yourself - when this whole thing is to benefit your own child? Then just refuse to discuss it with her anymore - anything she says after that, just say "I told you no, and I told you my reasons. I don't want to discuss it anymore." and STICK TO IT.

    Remember, while it is good to help friends, it's not good to be a doormat, and people can only walk on you if you lay down first....
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • no one else to pick him up or take him but I think she should have thought about who can take and pick him up before she signed him up....so I really don't know what to do
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • What is mothers day out? & Why cant she take the other two children with her when she drops off her son? Or find out if her son can take a school bus if its a school? GL, you need to stand up for yourself! Just tell her, "Look Im sorry, but I cant keep doing this" GL momma.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • let her know that while you'd love to help out, it just isn't working for you right now. Could she take the kids with her??
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:57 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • The only thing you can do is to just tell her you can't do it. I think its rude of her to even ask you to come in the morning after you told her you had a doc appt in the afternoon...who wants to do all that running around?
    Just say "I'm really sorry but I need to let you know today that I can't make it on Friday that way you have time to find someone else to do it for you" . If she still persists...say" Really, I wish I could but I just can't..."and then act like theres a commotion going on at your house with the kids and say.."I have to go,(so and so) is getting into...." and hang up,lol.
    She'll get the hint.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:57 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • OP sorry left out that her car can only seat two in the back
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:00 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Then honestly, it's her problem, because it sounds like she was sort of planning on dumping this on you all along.

    Then you either tell her no, that you wish you could help her, but you can't, but maybe that she could work out something where another mom in the group could take him for her. Or, sorry, I can't, hopefully you can work something out or get a refund for it....

    Or, you tell her flat out that you can't afford the gas to do this, and that, as someone who babysits herself, she should understand that you watch kids for your job, and that watching them occasionally during your "off time" as a friend for free is one thing, during this time you're "on the clock", so if she wants you to do it, then she needs to pay you __ amount for gas, and ___ to babysit during that time. (Like, the gas, plus $10 a day to cover the hassle and babysitting...)

    I'm thinking she'll figure something out real fast then....
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:08 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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