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Is it okay for me to be upset about hubby's friend and hunting to much?

My hubby has 3 weeks of vacation coming in the next month. All of which consist of hunting. Hid first trip starts Sunday and he will be back Thursday. He has another 4 days off to be home but he wants to go hunting some more at his friends house a few of those nights. Am I selfish for wantig him to be home and not go hunting on those days.
Also we want to move in a few months to Alask. His friend and his 2 kids all of a sudden became part of the plan to go. I really don't like living 2 minutes from him now. he may be moving in with us if we go. It's pretty much a done deal.

 
momofangels5

Asked by momofangels5 at 1:14 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,103 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It's definitley ok for you to be upset. I would be!! And that is just plain weird that his friend would also uproot his family and move to Alaska. I'd tell hubby that me and my kids come BEFORE his little friend!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 1:20 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Is it okay for you to be upset? It is okay for you to feel any way you want/need to. Unfortunately it sounds like expressing those feelings and being understood/heard is an issue for you. He made his plans for his vacation and you got the leftovers. Leftovers - is that what your relationship has you grasping for. With major life changes coming for you both, this stuff shouldn't be brushed off lightly. This is your relationship also. Get in it. Voice it.
    notjustamom380

    Answer by notjustamom380 at 1:26 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • something isn't right he needs to include you in the moving decision. thats a big step to let people move with you. men like to hunt but he should have considered that he should spend some time with you. what if he gets a deer the first couple days? then what. if hes still gone id be asking a lot of questions. not to be rude but it sounds like you are a push over when it came to the moving issue, id be telling him no way and if his friend is coming then im not going.
    hotmama541

    Answer by hotmama541 at 1:29 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • That screams "Brokeback Mountain".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • lol Anon, I didn't want to say anything like that, but you already did so I don't have to!

    Seriously though, I come from a hunting family, so i can't imagine that I would be upset about him going, rather I would be upset about not being invited!

    But really, his friend uprooting his family just to follow your hubby to Alaska? That is odd, really odd, regardless of how close they are...
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:44 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I don't think I'm much help as I look forward to dh's hunting season. It gives us both a break from each other and we enjoy each other more once he gets home. I don't know where you are, but hunting season around here is only a few weeks at a time so it's not like it's something he can go and do whenever. Before we had kids, I think I was more sad that he was gone and I was home alone, but not anymore. I believe that my DH's time with ihs friends is just as important as with his family.

    Now the whole friend moving with you issue...I would have to ask myself why I don't like this friend, what are his reasons for moving with us, what are our reasons for moving from where you are. Or are you just mad that dh didn't ask your opinion of this family moving with you?

    scrapbookmylife

    Answer by scrapbookmylife at 1:55 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • The hunting issue, if it's seasonal, might be okay to deal with. It's kinda like football season for most of us. You kind of have to suck it up. It's a bummer that it is taking up most of his vacation time. If he's set on it, try to insist on at least a small portion be set aside for the two of you. Now, the other issue of them moving in with you, you have every right to voice your disapproval! This would be a deal breaker for me, unless there was a concrete plan for them to stay with us no more than 30 days, and you both have to be in agreement before this happens. There is compromise in a any relationship, but there are limits that need to be clearly defined. Talk to your husband. They cannot guess what you want.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • if he really enjoys hunting that much and if it is seasonal although i would be upset i would still let him go. although the friend moving up to alaska is quite weird. i'm surprised that his kids would want to go there away from their friends but maybe they are younger. he probably doesn't have a reason to stay behind for so maybe i can see why he would move too. he would at least have a friend there. maybe that is why your hubby likes the idea of him following along. i would just tell my hubby how i felt about it all and see what he comes up with. he should set aside for you as a family to do things while on is vacation.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:43 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Im sorry but your hubby works all year long and if he wants to go hunting then he sould be able to go he is a man they dont think like us that every spare minuet should be a big family day give him a break and let him do something for him!! its his vacation!! as for the friend moving in with you that should be a decision you 2 make together and if you dont like it then it shouldnt happen no way in hell would i let one of my S/O friends live with us just cause he said so!!! i would have a fit so yes, you have a right to be upset about that part but as for the hunting let the man be! hunting only is a few weeks outta the year let him be a man!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 2:46 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

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