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Is this normal?

I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter who was adopted at age 9 months. She has thrived being on a very rigid schedule with her day. Any changes to the routine and it just throws her off. She is NOT a happy camper. We recently switched her to a big girl bed (she's 2 1/2, almost 37 inches tall, 35 lbs... it's time) and she doesn't get out, which is great! Except that when we tell her she can get out, she cries. We put toys out. She cries. And her behavior outside the bedroom has been much more defiant. We're talking outright, blatent disobedience here.

I know she loves her routine, but does anyone else have a kid that is also SO attached to the routine? How do you break them of this? It's getting to the point where we are a slave to this routine with no wiggle room at all, or we pay dearly for it later!

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icook

Asked by icook at 1:22 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (4)
  • My kids definitely do better with routine and they have problems if we deviate, but they have ADHD. Other kids that I see don't seem to have as big a problem. I would say it could be normal, or it could be something that is a problem. I think you're mom, and if your mom instinct tells you that it's not normal, then talk to her doctor. You know your daughter better than anyone else. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:33 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • It's her personality!! My DS is very similar, If you tell him it's bed time (he's 7 now) he'll look at the clock and tell you no it's not, because it's not...... He looks at the clock and knows and will tell me it's 11:30 time to make lunch, It's 5:30 is dinner done? He, also, because he is so into routines/schedules will clean his room with out me asking, will put his clothing way with me asking, he just does it automatically, because it's apart of his routine/schedule. He honestly, I feel just one of those born organized people and because of that he's going to co much further in life then I can even imagine. more next post.

    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 1:36 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • continue: I know it's frustrating, but as my DS has gotten older, we've been able to tell him well things are going to be like this today because of that, and he understands it, so it's not as bad, but when he was young like your DD age it was a nightmare because you can't explain it to them or explain how it's just for today. He still get attitude about change, but not as bad as it was when he was younger, and as long as he knows what's going on BEFORE hand we can avoid alot of stuff.

    SAHMinIL

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 1:37 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I would recommend having her evaluated...or at least go to autismspeaks.org and look at the warning signs checklist to see what you think. It's very difficult to make any real judgments on so little information. In the mean time, give her a heads up for any changes that you know are coming...give her reminders about those changes, and make her follow through.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 3:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

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