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3 Bumps

how do you get your husband to realize the financial problems or budget

when we got married he agreed that i would handle the money & for the most part i do. i pay the bills & i have to inform him how much we can spend. we tried giving an allowance but somehow that didn't work. my thing is he still wants to buy things that we can't afford. although i agree we may need it doesn't mean we can afford it. also he takes our charge cards like walmart & he will get money out behind my back. i was furious when i had paid that card off to get an xbox which i could of lived without. only to see that it was racked up again. i'm trying to pay bills down & he just racks it up. he has the mentality that everything is going to be fine in the end. which it always is but i don't feel that means we should over extend ourselves. in last 2 wks we bounced & was charged over $300 in over draft fees cause he bought something when i told him both times we didn't have the money. it's like selective hearing. i need advice

Answer Question

Asked by melody77 at 2:37 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Take away his plastic.
    Let the electricity get shut off...that should be a good eye opener.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:40 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • oh man. i dunno. my husband handles the money for the most part so he realizes we dont have any.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:40 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If you can cut up the cards so that they can't be used and close the accounts. I have managed to survive for 8 years without credit cards. You need to sit with him and show him how much comes in and how much goes out and tell him that you can't afford for things to bounce b/c it leads to more bouncing and explain to him that he has now paid whatever amount plus the overdraft charges for said specific item. Ask him was it worth it for that amount. I have accidentally paid overdraft charges on a candy bar. That was a tough lesson learned.

    Answer by coala at 2:41 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I did the whole allowance thing it didn't work either I even froze his debit card in ice still didn't work. I let him do the bills for a while until we had $2000.00 in overdraft charges. Then I let him see the bills and let him see the balance and show him how much I need and tell him how much he needs. I have to stay on him constantly but so far so good.


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 2:42 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Have you showed him your statements? Have you written out a budget and showed him where all the money goes? Talking isn't working. He needs to see the hurt you are in.

    I would sit down with him and show him exactly how much money your household made in the past 30 days and how much was spent in the past 30 days. Show him exactly how much you've paid out in overdraft fees. Show him how long it will take for you to pay off the debt that your household has already accumulated.

    If all of that doesn't work, I would tug at his heart strings. Show how you can't buy something for your child because there is no money for it. His toys should not come before your child's needs and even small wants. If he doesn't see that, then I don't know how to fix it.


    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 2:43 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Cut up the cards and go to a cash-only spending plan. He can't spend what he doesn't have. You have to stick with the plan though too. All cards must go.

    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 2:44 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • He needs to physically sit down with you while the bills are getting paid..He needs to see this first hand. Then take away the cards, dispose of them permantley. My DH have said, " if you need it, get it.. If you just want it, walk away" no cash, no get.. It might be a long road down for you to get this across to him, but maybe it has to be a HIT on the rockbottom.. Its not fun. I have been there.. Bankrupcy is not fun..

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 2:50 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I don't know, but let me know if any of the advice others gave you works for you :) My husband is the same way AND he works for tips, which I count on as part of our income to pay bills. So even if I take away his cards, he can just blow the cash. He's gotten better but he still doesn't seem to get it, probably because I'm like you and I always make it work out somehow in the end! Good luck!

    Answer by bethany169 at 2:56 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • i go over budget with him a lot and he seems to ignore. the thing is we pay tithe so we believe that we will be blessed but i told him that doesn't mean we have financial freedom to just spend on things. i get at home about buying small things like at gas stations. i have the credit cards he uses target or walmart but i'm hiding those since i discovered what he was up to. i'm having a hard time having him have free rein on the money cause i know that we would bounce a lot and it would cost us so much that we can't afford to loose. he won't do the same mentality as me" do i need this or want it" i mean for my birthday i asked for a comforter. it's not a want for me but something we need. we only have one comforter and with newborn and dogs gets dirty to often would like a back up. i resent that especially when he is asking for a notebook computer.

    Comment by melody77 (original poster) at 5:59 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • it's his parents fault they always bailed him out.

    Comment by melody77 (original poster) at 6:00 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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