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Why does he think he can use me like this?

My ex-husband and I have been divorced since March and seperated for around a year and a half. He goes up and down if he's talking to me or not. He hasn't been for awhile and then I get a text asking for help with something, and he makes sure that he mentions that it's for a job because he thinkgs I'll want to help him more that way because there is then a chance I'll see some child support. Well I don't even know what's he's asking for help with because he was really vague (and sent it in the middle of the night. He's why I keep my phoen in my purse in the front room when I go to bed so that I don't get woke up by his stupid texts) and when I asked what he wanted help with before I said yes or no, he hasn't answered. I am so frustrated, he doesn't talk to me unless he wants something. At least he quit asking for money, I got really sick of having to say no and him making me feel guilty about it, but still.


Asked by jillybean703 at 3:31 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (652 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You two are not married or together anymore and you have the kids and he owes you child support and he is asking you for favors and for money?! I would tell him to find some else to bother that takes balls and tell him to get a job and grow the hell up. Thank goodness you got rid of this loser. Sorry but i am just beside myself on your post. Your a great women to be able to put up that shit from him. I would leave my phone in the front room also. Does he spend anytime with the kids? Tell him he can call to check on the kids also and tell him the only time he calls is when he wants something. Tell him what you think about and then just maybe he will get the picture..

    Answer by raemommy at 3:37 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • where i'm from if you are court ordered to pay child support and dont (for any reason at all) you go to jail.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:49 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • in ca, if you have no way to pay child support you are not forced to since you have no income..

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 3:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • You cannot expect him to have respect for you if you show none fore yourself. Stand up to him. Be thankful you are no longer with this louse and user.
    Spend your money and energy on your children, and NOT on this worthless piece of SHIQ. \Get some backbone and stand up to him if only by changing the number on your cell or letting ALL his calls go to voice mail. Then only return messages where he spells out exactly what he wants, and even then, I would say NO.
    You owe him NOTHING. It is HE who OWES you.

    Answer by violetz at 4:01 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • As for the questions about cs it is ordered and it will eventually get to the point he will go to jail if he doesn't start talking to them. Where he doesn't have a job he could talk to them and change the order until he does or something liek that, but can't be bothered. He doesn't seem to think it's that important and I'm done trying to force him to take care of it. He has been told what will happen if he doesn't. There is already a contempt finding from the court so now all he has to do is not pay and not talk to them and a warrent will be issued. He doesn't see the kids and that's just another wonderful thing he has done. He left before I confirmed I was pregnant with my youngest and hasn't been back since. (my older DD was 13 months old and is now 3). I hate even having to deal with him. I have gotten to the point I can say no to him, but I hate having to do it. I shouldn't have to, but somehow he just doesn't understand

    Comment by jillybean703 (original poster) at 4:32 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • It might seem mean, but don't help him. It's up to him to support his children. He can pay now or pay later, in bulk and jail time if that's what he wants. It's his choice. I'm not exactly sure how child support law works but I'm pretty sure his checks will still get garnished for the percentage required by your divorce decree no matter what.

    Answer by Danaefm at 8:08 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • he does it because you play along. even if you never actually help him, you engage enough to be upset, feel guilty, ask questions. cut it out.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:24 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • p.s. look up codependence and see if you relate to that...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:24 PM on Sep. 15, 2010