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What should i do when i have a over-bearing father-in-law who likes taking discipline into his own hands?

'Roger' in his words is "man of the house" and what he says goes. He tells us how to discipline him, he yells at him for things inconsequencial....he is overbearing on where we take him or when we take him... what should i do? i've tried standing up but that just get's me nowhere... except in a battle of voice volume... and my fiance won't stand up and say nothing... i don't HAVE to live there but it's the only place i have in ar. and i work in ar and love my job... but i own a house in tx.. that i could be living in but i would have no job and no money coming in... SOMEONE HELP!!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • That would be a tough one. All I can say is try to get out as quickly as you can. Until then keep the kids busy else where.
    Sarasmoonflower

    Answer by Sarasmoonflower at 4:17 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I think you have to work on getting yourself out of his house. Look for a job in TX or find another place to stay in AR. GL!
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:18 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • i would definitely be telling my fiance he needs to do something about it.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 4:20 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Get you self a place there and tell that old man if he wants to see his grandson he is to be at your place and all you want him to say to you is yes ma'am
    nikkole42

    Answer by nikkole42 at 4:21 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I would get out of there as soon as possible. He isn't going to budge on how he feels and it is only going to get worse.
    dmelyoung

    Answer by dmelyoung at 4:25 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I would tell the fiance that if he wants to be a family he has to take charge and stand up to his dad and tell him to back off! I would also start saving up every penny to move out. If fiance can't/won't stand up to his dad then tell him you and the child are leaving! If he wants to come along fine, otherwise he can stay home with daddy and let daddy call all the shots.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:25 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Tell him you appreciate his "hospitality" & parenting advice but you will need to agree to disagree on certain things. Different does not equal wrong. In the meantime, I'd be looking for a new place to stay- even it's a 1 bed apt just to save your sanity. Cant you sell your house in TX so you can have the $ for your own place? And tell your fiance to grow a pair & back you up! If he wont do it now, what's it gonna be like when you get married? He needs to man up! Maybe if his dad sees him being a man, he wont feel the need to step into that role so often. Good luck!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:30 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I was in the same situation. My SO also wouldn't say anything. When I would bring it up, all he would say was "That's my dad, he won't listen to me." or "Just ignore him." Sadly, the only thing that put a stop to it was moving to a different state! Even when we visit him, he still has something to say to me about my parenting, but at least I know we can leave so I just smile and nod. Mobing out may be the only way.
    nmmama09

    Answer by nmmama09 at 4:46 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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