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2 Bumps

My SO isn't willing to be long-distance for 3 months?

I am moving to Cali and he is in school until December. He would be able to move there in January. He says that he probably cannot handle a long distance relationship for 3 months. We've been together for over a year and live together... Does this make sense? I would stay but I can't because of work...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Weird, long distance is hard but if you love each other you can do it. I don't want to be a buzz kill here but he might be looking for a way out of the relationship anyways and just doesn't want to say so. Men can be cowards though, ask him why he can't do it? Ask him if just would rather just break up and not have to move? GL.
    mrspierce06

    Answer by mrspierce06 at 4:30 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Long distance can be really hard. I think you need to talk to him and find out why he's so opposed to it, maybe there's an underlying issue like he thinks you should want to stay for him or something. Or he could be looking for an excuse. Sit down and talk to him. Good luck!
    jillybean703

    Answer by jillybean703 at 4:34 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I can understand where he's comming from. Not being able to see you or I'm assuming his kids for 3 months would be horrible. But there's always a way when you are willing to work on it.
    Sarasmoonflower

    Answer by Sarasmoonflower at 4:48 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • My gut tells me he's looking for an excuse. You can make anything work; just ask all the military wives here who deal with one year separations.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:50 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If someone cannot handle a long distance relationship for a relatively short period of time, it does not appear that they are committed to the relationship. I would not think 3 months is a long time. Yes, it SEEMS like a long time when you're apart, but in reality, it is only a short time over the course of a lifetime. If someone is willing to break a commitment to another just because they can't 'bear' to be away for three months, it doesn't sound like this relationship has long-term potential.

    Sorry, but he doesn't sound like he's worth it. He is trying to either manipulate you into staying, or trying to get you to give him an excuse for 'cheating' while your away. Breaking up is always hard to do, but sometimes it's for the best. There may be the perfect man for you waiting in California, who isn't going to be such a wimp.
    ahhmericanwoman

    Answer by ahhmericanwoman at 4:51 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • what does he mean? is he going to cheat on you if you leave for 3 months? that sounds like bull to me. In my opinion-
    If he was really serious about your relationship he could handle it.
    Long distance isn't easy but it's made my relationship with my husband stronger because we have to communicate more and in creative ways.
    [as a side note: we dated long-distance for a year and a half (6 months of that he was in Iraq)]
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 4:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • uhh let the loser go. Long distance might be hard but really? 3 months? and he can't do it? hes an idiot. he doesn't make sense.
    summerdaile

    Answer by summerdaile at 4:56 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • 3mo is hardly a long time. That doesn't make sense.
    toobigfrogs

    Answer by toobigfrogs at 5:07 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Three months and he cannot deal with a long distance relationship? Hmmm, sounds like this boyfriend of your has some major issues...I would reconsider the relationship you have with him... because it sounds as if when things get rough in a relationship, he's ready to bail out...he's showing you the warning signs right now....rather or not you pick up on the clues or not, he's showing you that he cannot be depended upon...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:28 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • He just wants an out... 3 months is NOTHING. DH and I met when I was home from college one summer an after only 2.5 months as a couple I went back to school for 9 months and we made it work. He came out to visit me 2x and I went home 2x, we got engaged the summer I got back. I also did a study abroad when we were together, I was in the Dominican Republic for 5 months. We've been together over 8 years now and married for over 5. It sucks, but if you both want it to work then it will. I doesn't sound like he wants it to work though!
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 6:30 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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