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my daughter is not my husbands

ok, so i had a baby girl about 28 months ago and then married my husband this april. he wants her to call him daddy. which i would like but i don't want her to be confused by having two daddy's cause she has only known her real daddy.i made sure that as an infant he established a relationship and bond at an early age. i don't think she understands just yet that she even has two cause i think she is two to young. my best friend was confused as a child by this cause she always thought her grandma was her mother and really wasn't. so i don't want her to be the same. my hubby gets mad when i say daddy andrew cause i want her to see him as that until she wants to on her own call him that. leia always runs to her daddy when he comes and picks her up. one day i screwed up and said daddy's home and she ran to the door but cried cause it was andrew and not her real daddy.

 
melody77

Asked by melody77 at 3:32 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • If Daddy Andrew really loves her, he will quit being selfish and do what's best for her. Sounds harsh but it's true. What's really important? If he were smart, he would realize that one day she will be old enough to know that Daddy Andrew has always loved her and provided for her. If he continues to push the issue.......he's just going to create negative feelings between you & him and also between him & your daughter. Grow up and think about what's really important. It's just a name. Quit messing with her head. (please print this and give it to Daddy Andrew).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • cont
    who is right? my hubby who insist that i tell her he is her daddy (cause he will be for the most part for the rest of his life) or me who says that in time she will call him daddy when she is old enough to know that she has two?
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:32 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • i think daddy andrew is good for your dh right now because she obviously connects the word daddy with her real daddy. imo i think your dh should just wait and see what she feel comfortable calling him since her real dad is so much in her life. but i would continue with the daddy andrew and explain to your dh why and that its not because he is not her daddy just because she needs to decide this on her own.
    babykins362003

    Answer by babykins362003 at 3:36 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I would wait and allow her to think of a name for your husband...My dd has a special name for her stepfather and the two of them have a very close bond. She does not call him dad but in her heart, she knows that he loves her as if she's his on bio kid. I think your dh should understand your reasons...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:40 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I was going to say she could call him Daddy_______, but then, I read the next part and she already does. I think its a great compromise on both your parts.i know its hard on both of you, but, would he rather her call him Andrew, I don't think he would. Or she could call him Dad, not daddy.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:22 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • My daughter have a real dad and step dad. Her read dad wasnt involved in her life until last summer . But she calls her step dad daddy and her real dad , daddy eric. it was her choice to do that, and we all agree along.

    I think its best that she call her step dad daddy andrew since that she already know her real dad and that her real dad is already much involved in her life.
    myklexi

    Answer by myklexi at 4:26 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • my gradaughter has two daddy's she calls them daddy Paul and daddy Chris everyone is happy with that including her....lol
    MarksGurl

    Answer by MarksGurl at 5:01 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Thats a choice your daughter should make when she is older. She has a dad she knows her dad and she loves her dad. Thats not something your hubby can replace. "Daddy Andrew" is good enough for now. That way she can distinguish the difference between them.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:05 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Do you want her calling her future stepmother "mommy"?

    Andrew needs to realize that it would be different if daddy weren't in the picture, but daddy loves his daughter and IS there for her. Andrew needs to find another name - just as meaningful - that's all theirs.

    My stepbabies are young - I've been with them since they were 2 yrs old and 4 months old. They've tried calling me "mommy" and I don't let them. I would KILL if their mom encouraged them to call one of her boyfriends (of which there have been many) by the name "Daddy" so I don't do that to her. The boys call me "Eema" which is Hebrew for "mommy". Doesn't step on mommy's toes and they have a special name for me that makes them happy.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 7:14 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Avarah has a great point.
    Jessy0419

    Answer by Jessy0419 at 9:06 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

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