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my daughter is not my husbands

ok, so i had a baby girl about 28 months ago and then married my husband this april. he wants her to call him daddy. which i would like but i don't want her to be confused by having two daddy's cause she has only known her real daddy.i made sure that as an infant he established a relationship and bond at an early age. i don't think she understands just yet that she even has two cause i think she is two to young. my best friend was confused as a child by this cause she always thought her grandma was her mother and really wasn't. so i don't want her to be the same. cont'

 
melody77

Asked by melody77 at 3:35 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 18 (5,435 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • one thing my parents did very well when they got divorced was agree that there was only one "mom" and only one "dad." Granted, my brother and I were older (I was 10, and my brother was 5).

    When my mom married my stepdad my brother was 7. he was far to young to refer to my stepdad by his first name, so he called him "Pop." I don't really know where it came from, but that's who he was. now that he's older (24) he calls him by his first name.

    I think that when both biological parents are involved, keeping "mom" and "dad" prescribed to those particular people is very important. I think you & your husband can find another term of respect and love for your son to have for him that will please everyone.
    sunnykate

    Answer by sunnykate at 11:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • my hubby gets mad when i say daddy andrew cause i want her to see him as that until she wants to on her own call him that. leia always runs to her daddy when he comes and picks her up. one day i screwed up and said daddy's home and she ran to the door but cried cause it was andrew and not her real daddy. should i make her call him daddy anyway?
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:36 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Well, you don't want to confuse her. Would he be happy with another name, like papa or just dad? That way she would know the difference when you say the name, and he would still have the title of father.
    drowninginboys

    Answer by drowninginboys at 3:41 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • This is a tough one... My hubby and i got together it took my son Dude forever to call him anything but his name... He was 3 going on 4 and now we have Jesse i just say daddy all the time... I dont day "Dudes daddy" about my ex... This is just a ruff situation and i had to handle it the best way i could... Now its not a big deal he calls him "daddy tom" or just "tom" or "daddy" i wouldnt push her...
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:43 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • No i wouldnt make her i am going through the same thing but i have a 4 yr old daughter and a 3 yr old daughter and matter of fact me and my bf just got done arguing about this same exact situation and how i think theyre just mine...and he wishes they would call him daddy i said that they will if they wanted to so i would say no ur daughters feeling are more important then ur hubbys not to be mean but i would always take my daughters comfort over theirs......gl
    michelle2mb

    Answer by michelle2mb at 3:45 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Don't make her call him anything. Maybe you and she can decide something special for your husband to be called instead of Daddy, so he gets a special name and doesn't feel left out but it doesn't create as much confusion with her. When my SS was two he decided that his mom was Mommy and I was MiMaw. Then when I was pregnant with my daughter, he started calling me Mommy, and his mom became Mom. She isn't nearly as involved as I am though, so the situation is a little different. He still calls me Mommy, but not in front of his mom. I was never MiMaw in front of his mom either, though. He did it once and she yelled at him that she was his mom and that no one else could get a name like that. So he just hid it from her and my husband figured it was SS decision, no one else's.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:45 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • By the way...you owe my friend an apology..those comments that you made about her being "slutty" hurt her feelings.

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 3:47 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I like drowinginboys answer - sit down with your hubby and pick another name - Dad, Papa, etc. Make sure he knows it is just so she has two distinct "names" for two distinct people. It's not because he isn't a dad to her - he is, he is there everyday. It's just to help her keep them straight in her mind and during conversations.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 3:51 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Hey Hey......
    My SO isnt the father of My son. HE has been around since he was born. He calls him daddy. His real dad isnt around.
    We have a baby girl and another in the way.
    My sis has two boys with one guy and has a girl with her husband. The boys know who their dad is but they are older and they have started to call her husband dad because he is the one that is around. They made the choice not her.
    edgpag

    Answer by edgpag at 3:51 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • what the hell are you talking about avas mommy
    babykins362003

    Answer by babykins362003 at 4:02 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

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