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2 Bumps

im tired of the lies...

i love my SO more than anything and i am not the type of girl to fall in love easily. we've been together 4 years, have a son together, and he's the closest thing to a father my other son has. we have both cheated and lied at one point in time, but as far as i know he hasnt cheated in the past 2 years eventhough he lies alot and i've had issues with him spending too much time with girls. 75% of the time he's a great guy, but the other 25% of the time he's awful to me. i really truly love him and this is the only relationship i have ever had trouble walking away from. i really dont think the lying and cheating will ever stop. how do i convince my heart to let me walk away?

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LoriaAnn

Asked by LoriaAnn at 7:25 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,028 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • that is a tough one to answer. If he lies to you and he hangs with girls chances are he could be cheating. You need to talk to him about your concerns. If things dont get better, you may have to think of your options.
    babybutastink

    Answer by babybutastink at 7:29 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I think you need to be good to yourself & convince yourself that you deserve the BEST! Sometimes love is enough, for the time being. One day, perhaps when you are 40 years old & your still with him, you will wonder why you stayed with him and you will possibly have wasted 1/2 your life. We kid ourselves that possibly he will change. If you have thought that, how long have you WISHED for things to be different? How much longer will you? Only YOU can decide, but possibly a push by someone for you to make a move to be without him may help you. Sometimes love just isn't enough-there is SOOO much more out there. I wish you the best with your decision!
    NicolesMommy

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 7:31 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • You just have to do it. Tell yourself that you are worth more and deserve more. I am in the same position...just a little different.

    In my experience...once a liar, always a liar and if you keep taking it, he's not going to stop anyway.

    It is hard to do and I know it's a little cliche, but If I can do it, anyone can do it! I wish you the best!!
    motherofpearls

    Answer by motherofpearls at 7:32 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Leave your heart out of it. 25% of the time... a 1/4 of your life is a lot of time to be treated poorly. My suggestion would be to start working with a therapist to see WHY you are afraid to walk away and why is it that your heart feels you should settle for this type of relationship. You are worth more than this.
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 7:35 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Pack you and the kids up and walk out the door and don't look back.............. I know that is easier said then done. But, you and I both know that is what needs to be done and right now it needs to be done cause you said it that it is never gonna change. You two have a child together so walking away completely isn't gonna be easy but each day that goes by will get easier and you will one day find happiness and that will be true real happiness. Finding happiness when you are misable isn't gonna happy. You need to get out of there and get your children settled in and yourself settled in and then as time goes by things will be easier it will hard being a single mother to 2 children but you can do it momma. You know that nothing is ever gonna change with him so you need to make changes for yourself and your childrens lives. You have things to really look at and you have some really big choices to make. PM me anytime.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 7:50 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • when you love yourself enough to realize that you deserve to be loved better then this. your just wasting time with someone that will never make you happy. he is who he is. either accept him or make your heart leave.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:11 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • no relationship is perfect. those are pretty good percentages in my experience. perhaps instead of looking for support in walking away you could try some true forgiveness... if you don't think he's cheated in years, why do you insist that it continues to be a problem? you are standing in the middle of the doorway, which means that you are not putting your full effort into having a working relationship, so how do you expect it to work? if you truly feel in your heart that leaving is the right thing to do, then you need to commit to that - one or the other, but until you make a firm decision you will continue to be stuck. i'm having some relationship problems now and the following link brought me some clarity... although it talks about marriage i think the questions apply

    http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/23
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:36 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If you truly know you want to leave, make a list of all the reasons why. That will allow you to think more logically and be ruled more by your mind than heart.
    Awakened1

    Answer by Awakened1 at 8:49 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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