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3 Bumps

No visitors on Birth Day?

My husband and I are going to be having our first baby in 4-5wks. The nurses in our class last night strongly recommend that it only be the parents at the hospital because too many family members is overstimulation for a newborn baby who is trying to learn to latch. Also, the nurses said that it's the one time that the mom will get to rest for more than 2hrs and visitors will only interrupt that. Although my husband and I completely agree with the nurses and plan on NOT letting family come to the hospital, and instead, come to the house a couple of days after, I find that I'm going to have a hard time breaking this to my mom. She's adamant on catching a train (we live 4hrs away) with my older sister and coming to the hospital. This isn't her first grandchild, and she's use to being able to be at the hospital the whole time. I want to know your experiences with the Birth day and breastfeeding for the first time at the hospital

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mire621

Asked by mire621 at 8:34 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 5 (95 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • My mother in law did the same thing, and drove 18 hours the minute she heard I was in labor. They arrived late the night after I gave birth at 8 in the morning. By that time, I was okay with them coming to see the baby - and they didn't stay long. I would NOT have wanted any visitors before that moment, but once things had settled down and I'd had a little sleep - it turned out to be not so bad after all. Maybe you can get grandma to hold baby for 2 or 3 hours while you sleep. Seriously.
    clairewait

    Answer by clairewait at 8:36 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • My WHOLE family showed up at the hospital each time when our babies were born. All of my kids were great nursers and all just latched on right away without any problems. I personally would rather everyone come to the hospital to meet the baby because the visiting hours are short and you can have the nurse kick them out if they over stay their welcome. When they come to your home guests tend to make a mess and stay longer then they should.
    It is totally up to you and your husband. I personally would not keep my mom away that first day.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 8:37 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • My family was respectful and only came in when I wanted them too. However, my mother was there thru almost the whole thing, even nursing. Baby didn't have any problems latching on. The main thing is for them to be quiet and not handle the baby much.
    My first time feeding, the lac consultant was surprised and asked if I was sure that this was my first baby. Just take it slow and realize that it may take more than 1 attempt or even several to get it right. I had to learn several holds because she had an IV in her left arm. Just take your time and ask for help when you need it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:38 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • first of all , nurses can be bitches sometimes , maybe they dont want you guys having family members there cuz that means extra work for them one way or the other .......... in my case , i will definitely want my family around when im in the delivery room because is just a moment too precious to not be share with the ppl that we love and loved us the most ! i couldnt take that wonderful experience away from my mom or that ! in my very special moment my dh , ( of course ) was there in the delivery room , along with twin sister and my mom ! your baby will latch on regardless to who is around ! if hes hungry he'll just want to be fed not annoy for his surroundings ! or u guys can also ask the visitors to get out of the room for a little bit while you feed your baby , they will understand !
    but go with what works with both of u ! in my case ,
    which i plan on having more babies , i will definitely have my dh , my sister n mom :)
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 8:42 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I absolutely agree with no visitors at the hospital. It is you and your husband's time to get to spend time with your baby without interruptions from family. Breastfeeding wasn't a big deal because it is the norm with my family. Just TELL your mom that you will let her know when the baby is born and she can visit with you all at your home in a few days. Don't sound sad or unsure because she will come anyways if she thinks she can guilt you into letting her in the room. It will be rough breastfeeding for the first time because you and baby are just learning that skill. The baby may want to nurse a lot and you don't want people coming in and out especially if you are tired and frustrated (possibly.)
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:43 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • with us on da wonderufl moment ! and the rest which was my dad , ma bro n his wife were in the waiting area , but i would of have my dad n bro in there if more ppl were allow in ! lol (the rest of both of our families live in our native countries )
    happymom1988

    Answer by happymom1988 at 8:43 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I had a whole waiting room FULL when I had my kids. After I was out of recovery (I had c-sections) I waited a little while and then they all came in to the room-two at a time. Everyone was very respectful and stayed a short while to see me and hold/see the kids and then left. Both of my kids were GREAT nursers (ebf til 9 months and nursed well after 12 months old). I loved having everyone come see me at the hospital, once we got home I asked that I only have one set of visitors a day-it was too much to have more. All of our friends and family were great about respecting our wishes. You decide what YOU want and let everyone know-and stick to it.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 8:44 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I had my baby at home, who is a first grandchild on both sides. I told everyone straight up, "we'll call you when We are ready. You may not attend the birth"

    My parents came on day 2 and his on day 4
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 8:45 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • While I agree that too many people is overstimulating I also wanted my mother there AFTER the baby was born. His father and my parents both came to the hospital within minutes of both my kids being born, but everyone else was told they were not welcome until we came home. We also all live very close (about 45 minutes drive) so it wasn't like our parents were driving a long distance. My oldest had some latch issues due to tongue tie, but after that was taken care of he nursed until 18 months old and weaned while I was pregnant and my second was nursing like a pro within minutes and continued until she was 35 months old. I think this is a personal decision, but I see nothing wrong with a few people being there shortly after the birth.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:58 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • As soon as my water broke my birth mother and sisters who I have just recently reconnected with hopped in the car and headed to the hospital. That was at around 8 pm. We let them come in and say hi and all that and then they went back out to the waiting area so that we could sleep for a bit. They were allowed back in the room early that nexgt morning to see us again. And then when my contractions got worse and it was nearing push time, back out into the waiting room they went. I didn't want anyone in there for the actual labor part. I wanted that to be just me and my hubby. After the baby was born we had about an hour to just be in the room with our newborn before any visitors were allowed in the delivery room. only 5 at a time were allowed back per hospital rules. After everyone from both of our families got to greet the newest member of the family everyone went home and gave us some space and then we were taken to our room.
    teagansmom10

    Answer by teagansmom10 at 9:59 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

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