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2 Bumps

Should 2 people stay together if they have differences large enough?

Yesterday I realized something that never occured to me. I need to feel close to hubby at all times. When I don't I start feeling insecure and just lost. I'm not happy til he is happy with me. It causes me a tremedous amount of pain at times. My hubby likes to be independant and alone sometimes. He's slow to recover when he's mad at me. I think I smother him sometimes. I try not to but when he pulls away I panic. We are in love and actually happy otherwise. There is something missing though. I just wonder if we should stay together. I'd love feedback from long term married people.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You need to get into some counseling right away before you push him away.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 10:19 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Look something maybe bothering him. if you are able to leave then do so fore a while and see what he say's to that and. Do what work for you and your child no child should be around that. he needs to show you respect.
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 12:37 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Me and my husband have been married 8 years and together 11 and we did have a real hard time and we split up for a year.. I was done I thought I had fallen completely out of love with him. I never thought I could feel like I do now. And now we are back together and Im happier then Iv ever been. So if you think its the end of the road try try again. Every relationship takes ALOT of work, the way I keep telling my self when things get rough I just tell myself if my kids and me where having a rough time I would not give up on them. If you love him just dont give up. just keep working on it, it will all work out.
    AmberNicoley

    Answer by AmberNicoley at 10:24 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Okay, did counseling on my own forever. I've come to terms with who I am and my flaws. I try everyday to be a good wife and give space and time to him. It leave me feeling lonely though. And it doesn't help that when he gets upset enough he tells me how much he dislikes me. I can't seem to ever feel grounded with him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:24 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Well Ive been with my fiance for 4 years now n we go through the same thing except hes the 1 that smuthers lol I think you need to find ur own indepence like who are you other then a Mom and Wife. How long were you 2 together before you had your baby ? .If you guys love each other n your relationship is a healthy 1 as in theres no verbal emotional ect abuse then there's no reason why you shouldnt stay together not everything in a relationship will be perfect theres no such thing n if there its a lie there will always be problems n moments that you both wish never happen but thats what being together n building a familys about . I really think you need to be secure with yourself n know that your some1 without him. Then things will get better.
    KLUVZA

    Answer by KLUVZA at 10:27 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • If you are everything that you say you are n he still tells you mean things maybe you should just take a break from each other n hell see what he had. The fact that he tells you that he dislikes you doesnt help the situation. But he might be saying it just cuz he knows it hurts so even if it does show him that it doesnt he probably knows that you wont do anything about I say get your own thing start going out by yourself do things by yourself or with friends give him the same treatment hes giving you have you told him how you feel
    KLUVZA

    Answer by KLUVZA at 10:41 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Start a Love Notes book. We have one and whenever we have to be apart for whatever reason (work or whatever) we can write in it. I write in it more often than him but thats ok . Whenever I feel a distance in our relationship or like we havent had enough time together recently I can read thru the old notes and smile and feel all lovey dovey again. Then add a new note and leave it somewhere he will find it. Like in his socks drawer or my favorite is in his cereal box lol. The other thing we do is leave post it notes for each other in odd places. It only takes a second but the smile and feeling lasts all day. At first he wont join in or he will roll his eyes. But then one day.... there it will be. A small square of yellow inside your favorite mug. Good Luck!
    1lv2stks3nlz4ev

    Answer by 1lv2stks3nlz4ev at 5:08 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

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