Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I have recently went throught a tragedy, there's no easy way to put it so I'll just throw it out there, August 1st my brother broke into our home, my husband was home at the time and confronted him with a gun, my brother also was armed. My Husband shot him and he died enroute to the hospital. My question is, how can I seperate my feelings, emotions and behavior so I can essentally move on without feeling guilty for "moving on"? adult content

This was not the first time my brother had broken into our home, he has been in trouble with the law since about the age of 15. During the time of the last incident at our home he had just gotten out of jail for commercial burglary and theft over 2500.$ He took a plea bargain, and was out on fur- lo before he was to be sent to a rehabilitation center for a year. I struggle to think that maybe if he had still been in jail he may still be alive, I also constantly think about his salvation or lack there of. I want peace, if anyone has been in a similar situation or can relate please let me know what I can do to overcome such grief.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Sep. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • im sorry


    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:36 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Thank you butterflyblue19

    Answer by MoMoBear at 10:42 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • just know that God knew of his struggles and was with him even at the end. God is always watching. He created your brother so i am sure he had some kind of relationship or hinting thoughts with your brother that was just between your brother and God. It is not up to us to worry about people' ssalvation, only God. it is up to us to love others and be in relationships with them if it is safe for us, or have compassion remotely if possible. dont feel guilty because th euniverse directed what happened to him, and you rbrother had free will to make bad type choices. i just prayed and sent positive energy your way. there was a purpose for your brothers life no matter if WE cant figure it out.

    Answer by silverelf at 10:43 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry you are facing such a difficult time. ((((((((Hugs))))))))))

    Answer by Robsmommy at 10:46 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I lost my mom 2 yrs ago n I dont think you ever move on you just learn to live with it you will always think about it but it does get easier what has help me is have some sort of relationship with God. God bless you and your family

    Answer by KLUVZA at 10:55 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Write a book. Get all those thoughts out of your head. I'm not sure how it's possible to cope with that. I'm just going to say write and then bump your question. I'm so sorry about your loss.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:57 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • Seek counseling or a minister. Please talk to a professional.

    I am so sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))

    Answer by parrishsky at 11:15 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I'm sorry your feeling so much madness right now. I know its easy to say and not do, but i think you should stop feeling guilt about something thats clearly wasn't n your control. Everyone makes choices some bad, some good. It is what it is. Stay present, now is the time to just be, no worries, just be. This is coming from a gal who is constantly worring about everyone else and how there feeling, and how it effects them. Leaving no time but crazy and confused feelings for. Its better to just let go and live. I hope that helps. Take care of yourself and feel better. I'm sending some positive thoughts your way.

    Answer by luvintaters at 11:23 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I am so sorry. i cannot begin to even think how I would handle the grief of something like this. I will be praying for you and your family. My only advice would be to seek counseling and don't bottle up your emotions. If you feel something you have to get it out there. It will consume you if you don't. If you dont feel like you have anyone in your life that you can talk to remember you always have us here on cafemom. ((hugs))

    Answer by teagansmom10 at 11:32 PM on Sep. 15, 2010

  • I am so sorry you are dealing with this situation, and I am sorry for your loss. I know he was your brother, but you are not responsible for the path he chose to take and you should not feel guilty. I think it would be very helpful for you to start a journal and write down all your thoughts and feelings get it all out so you can begin to heal. I also think counseling and/or attending a loss support group would be very helpful to you as well.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:20 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.