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Is suicide unforgivable? And how do you heal the pain of being left behind?

Earlier this week I posted that my friend had killed himself, and just asked what's your thoughts on suicide. Well, this week a lot in our community are saying he's not going to heaven because suicide is unforgivable. I am strong in what belief I have on this subject, but am curious (a) what you believe comes after suicide; and (b) how can I help my friends (and myself) move past this tremendous hurt.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • I think if the person is saved (accepts Jesus as his or her savior and turns from their sin) but maybe are going through a terrible time in their life and make that horrible decision to end their life, I believe they will be in heaven. Like someone else said God knows your heart and if you have accepted him you can never lose your salvation and there are times in those peoples lives as temporary as they may be they feel hopeless and make a dumb decision to end it all by suicide. I think even in some cases its more a cry for help and they really don't want to do it they just want someone to help them. Like I said God knows our heart and I really think if your truly saved you will be in heaven.
    jojo13

    Answer by jojo13 at 8:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I've always been taught that you murdered yourself... and you'll go to hell. That's just what I've been taught. All you can do is be there for eachother. Remember him and keep your love for him. I still hurt for my friend Aaron who died in a car crash. I still can't believe that he's gone.
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 6:40 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • i do not believe it means they are not going to heaven..some people just can't handle the daily taks in life and god loves everyone not only those do as he says he loves all...and it's hard to deal with it but see it this way some people just are better off some people are really miserable and will bring others down with them if they stay and i believe one day you will see that person again and they will finally be happy and healthy.remember the good about the person and not the bad..i hope this helps a little.
    rikaree

    Answer by rikaree at 6:42 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I think it's a very real possibility either way. I can't say that I think someone who commits suicide for sure goes to hell, because I truly believe that God would be understanding in some case.  I honestly am not quite sure what to think.


    As far as getting past the hurt, I also don't know what to say.  I don't know what your beliefs are, so I won't tell you to pray.  However, if you would like me to pray for you, I would be more than happy to.

    DusterMommy

    Answer by DusterMommy at 6:47 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I am a christian, but i dont know whether or not you go to hell. i do think for people to be telling you "your friend went to hell because he killed himself" while you are grieving is TERRIBLE! why would someone do that? it seems that would only add to the pain you are already going through, and our jobs "as christians" is not to add to the pain, but to help in the healing...
    so i am sorry not only for what you are dealing with because of your friend, but also for people (however good intentioned they were) who are not HELPING you through this...geesh guys...
    i have had several friends commit suicide over the years...but i still cant really say anything to make it better..like dustermommy said, i will be more than willing to pray for you and your situation. and i will also offer some advice on a more spiritual level, but w/o knowing you, i dont want to preach..so pm me if you need...again i am sorry...
    ivelostmyself

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 7:06 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I think it's a cowardly move. If one believes that one has to repent their sins before going to heaven then no, he can not go to heaven because he can not repent until after the act. I'm sorry for your loss. What a shame that someone was so selfish that they will make you suffer just to end their burdens. I'm sorry, I have had a few friends commit suicide and I felt the same way and refused to mourn them. I am not trying to be insulting.
    njmommy2boys

    Answer by njmommy2boys at 7:13 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I lost both my grandmother and my son to suicide. My grandmother was a devout catholic and a loving woman. My son was a good kid,a loving,generous kid.
    We preach about our loving,merciful God,and in the next breath say that he will abandon us and condemn us for our despairs.
    I do not believe that-I believe God knows and understands all of us. I believe God gives us the opportunity to ask for his forgiveness,whether it before or after death.

    I believe with all my heart my grandmother and son are forgiven.....as I know your friend has also been forgiven.

    sweetemotions

    Answer by sweetemotions at 7:17 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Most people who commit suicide are very sick. Depression is an ILLNESS. And untreated it can be fatal.
    As for coping, you need to give yourself time and the freedom to grieve. It's going to hurt for a while, but eventually it will become more bearable. There is no right way to grieve, it's personal.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 8:06 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • Judy Collins (folk singer fron the seventies) lost a son to suicide. I think if you google her, you will find some good resources, including a group for survivors of suicide. I saw an excellent documentary about it and I was touched by what survivors go through and how they can heal. I know Christians believe certain criteria need to be met to get to heaven. Some think a person who commits suicide doesn't go to heaven. I do not know the mind of God in the moments immediately before or after death. Only God knows, therefore, I can't say your friend didn't go to heaven. Even if I thought I could explain why he didn't, I wouldnt' and I personally am not so sure of myself to even consider telling you something like that.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:20 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • www.survivorsof suicide.com
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:22 PM on Oct. 17, 2008