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is this neglect what to do?

my neighbor wanted to call CSB on me at one time, but they said there was nothing in the house to make me an unfit mother. She tries talking to me when I am outside, but now she is telling me these kids I babysit are being naglected. There mom is 24 a single mom. I never been to her house though I use to babysit her when she was younger. I don't talk to her much I just started babysitting her kids yesterday. Well the oldest boy will be 3 in November he is in diapers she hasn't started potty training yet. Then you can't understand what he says. The youngest is 19 months old he doesn't talk yet just babbles and he of course is in diapers, but he wont walk yet he crawls and he isn't even trying or wanting to stand. His skin is supper supper dry he itches it. She brought him yesterday in his footed pj's that were kind of dirty. She seen them outside she says that is neglect I am afraid she iwill try calling CSB now.

 
mommy5409

Asked by mommy5409 at 8:32 AM on Sep. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 25 (22,258 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Dry skin could be from lack of bathing or from just having dry skin. Dirty laundry could just be a day she didn't happen to do the wash or it could be a problem that occurs on a regular basis. It's too soon to know and you really need to take everything into account ... you have to use your best judgement. Give it some time ... see what happens over the course of a few weeks. She could be over worked and needing all the help she can get; or maybe she is just not trying very hard. In either case the last thing the kids need is an intervention from the government unless there truly is a BIG problem. Try to help mom anyway your able with out getting yourself in too deep for comfort. If you start getting in over your head and the kids seem like they are too far from well ... get then the help they need.
    phoenix1963

    Answer by phoenix1963 at 12:31 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I don't know that this is necessarily neglect - a lot of kids are potty trained around 3. As far as speech goes, there may be a medical issue. After you've had them for a week or two, talk to the mom about that (one day isn't enough to gauge.) The 19 month old should have lotion - did she bring any over for him? You can ask her about that now, if she didn't maybe she forgot it?

    Your neighbor sounds like an idiot. Ignore her. If she does call, you don't have anything to worry about. At some point I'd think that CSB will be tired of listening to her unfounded rants.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:37 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It's normal for a 3 yo to not be potty trained and for them to not be able to be understood by others. Some toddlers walk late. One of my sons didn't walk until around 19 mo. Dry skin can run in families. My grandson has dry skin and eczema head to toe. My kids had eczema as toddlers. Having kind of dirty clothes doesn't hurt kids. From what you have said it doesn't sound like neglect to me. If your neighbor is going to be calling authorities on kids you take care of then you may not be able to do child care. It's not fair to the families to have to go through investigations because you have a bad neighbor. They may have to investigate every complaint even if it doesn't sound like there is anything wrong.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:44 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • what to do?
    mommy5409

    Comment by mommy5409 (original poster) at 8:32 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • yes there was lotion in the bag no extra clothes however, but there was the lotion.
    mommy5409

    Comment by mommy5409 (original poster) at 8:40 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • None of that sounds like neglect to me. Kids walk and talk at their own speed and there is nothing you can do to force it. The potty training is also not neglect. Since we all use the potty, he will too, on his own, when he is ready.

    As long as they are not malnurished or have unexplained injuries, there is NOTHING that Child Services will do. There really is no law that says you have to wash your clothes. It is just the socially acceptable thing to do. If you have to do any laundry, I would just through them in with your clothes, and casually mention to your friend, that you washed his PJs since you had a load to do anyways.
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 8:41 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • wow, that is tough. What about diaper rash? Are they clean? Does she send food? and what kind? It sounds like the little guy may have eczema, which for the most part is very treatable. As you probably already know every child learns on a different level, but if there is no one at home who is encouraging or working with them to advance there could be delays.

    cmorbeauty

    Answer by cmorbeauty at 8:42 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I did not walk until i was 17 months old. I was in no way neglected. I did have a calcium problem in my legs but it was soon corrected and I am fine today.
    nanny29

    Answer by nanny29 at 8:56 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • wow, that is tough. What about diaper rash? Are they clean? Does she send food? and what kind? It sounds like the little guy may have eczema, which for the most part is very treatable. As you probably already know every child learns on a different level, but if there is no one at home who is encouraging or working with them to advance there could be delays.

    There is no diaper rashes. They aren't all that clean, but they aren't filthy dirty. She did send food yesterday which was 2 boxes of mac and cheese and 1 can of speghetti o's
    mommy5409

    Comment by mommy5409 (original poster) at 9:16 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • What you listed in and of themselves are not neglect as all children develop at their own speed. I would definitely watch the children for other sings of neglect though and just ignore the neighbor. She is obviously just nosey and wanting to start trouble since she tried to say your kids were neglected too.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:18 AM on Sep. 16, 2010