Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Is this a threat???

My husband got angry last night and threw a bunch of things of the desk in our bedroom...he broke all of it. When he looked at me he could see that it had scared me. He said to me "would you of rather I hit you"? Why would he say that? is that a threat or just a question?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • wow sounds like he has some anger issues. How about the other option do not hit either. On the other hand at least he thought about other options. I think it was just an angry question.
    nanny29

    Answer by nanny29 at 9:09 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It sounded like a question not a threat. My husband will sometimes take anger out on object...I am talking like 3 things in 10 years. He has never hit me or even come close. I have thrown things also...probably about the same number of times he has. When my husband says something like that it is usually because he is embarrassed of his behavior and tries to rationalize it by saying he did it so he wouldn't me.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:09 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • yes I would take that as a threat geez do you really have to ask strangers push back or next time he will hit you
    goatmom4

    Answer by goatmom4 at 9:10 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It sounds like you may need to have a serious talk with your husband with you both are calm and there is no anger. I'd ask him if he ever felt the impulse to hit you or anyone else for that matter. If so, then there is a huge red flag. Maybe discuss how to avoid getting so angry and finding other ways to let it out like getting himself a punching bag or hitting a baseball, just something to release it. If it made you feel scared then it's definitely not a good thing.
    miraclebabymine

    Answer by miraclebabymine at 9:14 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Don't know what's going on, but it sounds like he could use some anger management counselling.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 9:16 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • doesn't sound like a threat, but does sound like trying to justify his throwing things. be careful, is all i can say. who knows, maybe he's different than my ex, but my ex would do that kind of thing (along with other fun stuff. *note facetiousness") and, before i knew it, i was in an abusive marriage.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 9:17 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Sounds to me like he needed to vent his anger and would rather destroy inanimate objects than hurt you. 

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 9:20 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • i would have a convo with your husband and let him know that his behavior both scared you and let him know that his question afterwards alos made you feel uncomfortable, your marriage should be one in which you feel comfortable and esp to rediscuss this, we all do things when we are upset that we regret later, if he isn't remorseful you should def seek counseling and help, for the both of you! good luck i know its hard to reopen issues that are hard to talk about esp after you feel the storm has blown over, but you need to talk this thru with him so it doesnt become a problem for your marriage!
    fairytale2mommy

    Answer by fairytale2mommy at 9:21 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Does not sound like a threat but a question. I would, however, watch for signs of the violence escalating. I used to date a guy that would hit walls and even punched out a window because I made him mad. He drew back to hit me one day, then his brother walked in because he heard us fighting, and I left. Never looked back.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 9:21 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • That wasnt a threat. He just needed to release some frustrations and that statement was in response to you looking at him bewildered. He was just giving his reasoning for his behavior.
    dmelyoung

    Answer by dmelyoung at 9:45 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.