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2 Bumps

How can I get my hubby to be more helpful around the house without sounding like I'm "nagging" or coming across bossy?

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HuntersMom25

Asked by HuntersMom25 at 9:18 AM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Sit down and talk to him. Tell him you need help. Don't yell or get mad or tell him what he is not currently doing. Simply tell him that it is too much for you, and you need his help to fix it!
    Men tend to be "fixers" so if you approach him from that angle he will probably be more accepting.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 9:20 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • No advice, it's the same for me. I think it's in their genes!
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 9:24 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Tell him you want to get a maid. When he bocks at the cost and need for a maid tell him the things that are specifically overwhelming you that you could use help with.

    Either he will agree to a maid or you can discuss splitting up the work better. Either way you win.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 9:26 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Just let him know you're asking for his help, because you would like some of the burdon taken off of you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:36 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I would make a chore chart and ask him to commit to certain things and you can take certain things. Men dont realize all that goes into keeping a house in order. They think it magically happens. So, until he sees it on paper and and can see how much you actually do he wont get it. He will probably be more willing once he realizes all you do.
    dmelyoung

    Answer by dmelyoung at 9:43 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Ask him to do one or two small things, maybe even handy man type stuff that men love to do. After he does it, use positive reinforcment. Tell him he's wonderful and how much that helped you out, tell him how nice it looks/functions now... and if this leads to a romantic encounter, all the better for both of you. :-) Repeat, repeat, repeat. After a while, you won't have to be so gushy over stuff, but by then, he'll be into the groove of helping out.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:45 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • i totally agree with the chore chart and esp if you have children over three, heck even two (this is when we began) we put things that needed done daily and then on the side made a section to the side for large projects, like cleaning the garage, to be done monthly! you will still bear the most -- undoubtedly-- but even if the kids pick up their own toys and put their clothes in the hamper, and your hubby gathers and takes out the trash and unloades the dishes twice in the week you will feel like you have won the lottery. be sure to let him know you want to teach your child/ren while they are young that you are a family unit and that it takes a lot to keep it all together, i agree men are fixers so knowing your are needing to lean on his strength may give him a superman moment he needs as well!
    fairytale2mommy

    Answer by fairytale2mommy at 9:52 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I made a chore chart with all the things that get done around the house down to the littler things in each room. For 2 weeks i put my son and my initials on the chart next to the things we do and once in a blue moon next to the things my husband did. By the end of the 2 weeks he was doing things on the list on his own and marking his initials. I think he started feeling guilty/ my point about how much he doesnt do really came across when he saw it spelled out.
    wildwiccan83

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 9:57 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Just ask. And if he doesn't at least make an effort...hire someone.

    And while we're on the subject...I have an opinion on nagging...if you've asked them nicely to do something five or six times and then the next time, you have to get a little "bitchy"...that's not nagging. Just my .02.
    motherofpearls

    Answer by motherofpearls at 10:19 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • i read in a book that if you want a man to do something you only have to ask. supposedly men are easy and just asking for something is all they need. i have to admit it does work for me. i do it when it needs done. i don't ask for it to be done at a later date cause my hubby puts things off or forgets. like if i'm feeding the baby or if he is already in the kitchen i will ask him hey can you start the dish washer or finish loading the dishes, etc etc. i know i will probably get bashed but i use sex to my advantage. like say he needs sex one night and truthfully i'm tired and just don't want to i tell him so. i say honey i'm just to tired from all the housework and tending to the children all day to satisfy you tonight. maybe if you could help me out tomorrow and left the burden i could have the energy for you. when my hubby does more around the house i give him more sex. my hubby sure picked up the clue. he's very helpful.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:40 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

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