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Help! I am at my wits end with my soon to be 5yr old daughter....

Why doesn't she listen?? Why can't she follow simple directions??

I hate yelling and that seems to be the only thing I do these days.

Example: Please do not go up stairs when your baby brother is sleeping. She goes upstairs.

Please don't run in the house. She runs.

Time outs aren't working anymore. Taking away toys doesn't seem to bother her.

What am i doing wrong??

Answer Question
 
mommytobrooke

Asked by mommytobrooke at 9:26 AM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 14 (1,672 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I am in the same boat with not only my 5 year old, but my 2.5 year old. I know the 2.5 year old is a little younger, but when I disipline her nothing helps what so ever.
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 9:28 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It must be the age. I go through this randomly with my almost 4 yr old. I had to find that one "thing" that gets to him and use it for leverage/discipline. Otherwise, I could be singing in the wind to him.
    miraclebabymine

    Answer by miraclebabymine at 9:32 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Don't ask her to Please not do something, tell her not to. If she doesn't listen, stand her at the wall. Not in the corner, just face a wall, for 4-5 minutes. Everytime she doesn't listen. Tell her calmly to go to the wall, no yelling, and make her stand there. If she doesn't want to stand there, then stand by her, until she knows you're serious. It might take a few times for her to get it, but I would guess after about 3 times she will get the hint and start listening, because she will take you serious. You don't ask your kids to do something, you tell them.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:39 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Punishment doesn't teach good behavior. Stop with the pleases. Phrase things in ways you don't use the word no. Kids tune out no. "Baby is asleep, stay downstairs." Then be ready to do the dramatic. If she steps on the stair run over and grab her and get her off the stairs and say, "I said stay downstairs." She may cry. Walk away. She needs to learn that you mean what you say. Never count. "Walk in the house." She runs. Go and get her and put her next to you. "I see you can't walk in the house so you have to stay next to me where I can watch you." It's not a time out, it's logical. After a certain amount of time you can ask if she is ready to walk in the house. No lectures. If she runs again then you need to do something drastic to change the situation. Feed snacks, go outside, find something for her to do.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 9:40 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I think its the age. Just be more strict with her. take away things that she loves doing.
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 10:19 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I don't think it's anything your doing. She's just at that age. I'm going through it with my 2 1/2 year old. :/
    PhilsBabyMama

    Answer by PhilsBabyMama at 11:22 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • maybe give her options of things she CAN do, rather than what she can't. Sometimes hearing "DON'T" makes a child want to do something more and push limits.
    You can rephrase things and say "Your brother is sleeping, so lets do some quiet things downstairs, we could paint, or draw, or play with playdough, or you could watch a video, what will it be?"
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:57 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Stay persistant with the time outs. Although at first they may not seem to work, in time they will and do. You have got to be the one in control, and until she realizes that she will keep trying you..lol. My son is 5, and here are some things we do. You can make a behavior chart and place stars when she does well with listening, etc. Once she receives so many stars, then plan a day together to do something fun -like going to the playground. Praise good behavior, and hopefully she will see the positives and want to please you. Hope this helps.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 12:32 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I feel the bashing coming on but a solid swat to the butt does wonders. Just saying....
    paganmom05

    Answer by paganmom05 at 6:39 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Oh yeah, this is my almost 4 year old in a nutshell. Increase the "time-outs"...and I really like the dropping the "no" suggestion!
    mainemusicmaker

    Answer by mainemusicmaker at 5:49 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

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