Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

should i tell my son dad's aunt how he has not been contributingat all.... he lies to his family and make me look like the bad guy. when i have tried. she's about the only one that has some compassion. i just dont want to be made out to be the bad person when im not. i take care our son, i pay my bills, go to college, etc. but has them fooled. someone needs to know the truth. or should it matter?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Let it roll right on off of you. My ex use to do this all the time. Claimed he was paying support for our children and wasn't. Had everyone fooled that he was. Fortunately for me, his sister in laws and I got along great and they knew the truth. They would defend me at all times against that family. So the best advise that I can give to you is to continue doing what you are doing. Stop worrying about what he's telling his family and if I was you, whoever it is that's giving you this information, I would either cut them off as being a friend to me or I would limit the level of conversation when it came to my ex...good luck to you and keep focused!

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:58 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • They will see the truth when they are ready, regardless of what you say. If you go to the aunt, she may or may not be "on your side" - but it's not going to change the perceptions of the rest of the family. Why do you care what they think? If they are being snowed it's on them.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:51 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Probably take the high road. If they cannot see that your child is healthy, happy, well adjusted, and you are making something good with your life, then they will never see whether you tell them or not.

    Answer by miraclebabymine at 9:55 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Well it could be that his family does realize the truth but are in denial, or maybe it is just easier for them to believe his lies and put the blame on you than see him for what he is. If they truly are ignorant about him and are convinced that he is 'the good guy' then they will be in for a rude awakening as sooner or later he will show is 'true colors' and they will find out for themselves what he really is. As for the Aunt, I would not say anything to her unless she asks and then let her know your side of it.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:58 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I am in the same situation as far as an ex that does not contribute. When anyone asks me about my ex, my typical response is, "Well he is just him." But, if anyone asks a more direct question, especially someone in his family, I do not try and hide the fact that he does not contribute for them. In fact, last year when my little one was playing football, I left his sister standing open mouthed when she said, "I bet you enjoy his games. I know ____ does!" I looked at her and said, "I really do enjoy them, but I don't know how ____ would know if he did or not. Considering he has never been to one of our son's games." I left it at that.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:26 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • If you are no longer with him it should not matter. I am sur your family knows your side of it. And as your child groes up they will know the truth.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:51 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It depends on if you can tell her with out it being accusitory or like you trying to make him look like the bad guy. If you can do that go for it. :)

    Answer by tekabaymom at 9:51 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • My typoes are so horible I should go back on the dew.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:52 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It doesn't matter what they think.


    Answer by Gailll at 9:54 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • sure i would tell her.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:10 AM on Sep. 16, 2010