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Pressure to lose weight and look a certain way.

I am a plus size girl, I have been for years. But I feel immense pressure from my family to lose weight. I do try, but it seems like I get going great and something happens and I am derailed and it takes a lot for me to start again.

I know my mother is disappointed because she is little and fashionable and then she has me for a daughter, who is kind of tomboyish, not interested in the clothes she thinks I should be, I don't wear make up and I am fat.

I am not insecure or self conscious about my weight, I just feel like I am disapointing her b/c she has 4 kids and I am the only girl, and probably not the girl she imaged having.

I get so sick of the comments about how my husband would appreciate it if I would dress up more (he doesn't care, loves me as I am) and now that my son is in school, she always says that I should look more like the other moms.

Help, or am I worried about nothing.

 
Bubbie0809

Asked by Bubbie0809 at 11:15 AM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Beauty & Style

Level 31 (47,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Honestly, I would not worry about what she has to say! Not all women have to look the same, THANK GOD! Can you imagine how boring it would be if all women looked exactly alike! Sounds to me like you have created your own definition of who you want to be, and your Mom should see the beauty in that! And You!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:20 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • If you are comfortable with yourself, your DH loves you as you are - you shouldn't worry about what your mother or anyone else thinks. Don't let the media tell you how you should look, your look is uniquely you, embrace it!!
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:17 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Stand up for yourself, tell her she hurts your feelings and should love you for you, and these kind of comments will no longer be allowed as you are an adult who can choose your relationships, and you are not going to choose a relationship with someone who is trying to change you. Period, end of story, and end the conversation, don't let her give you any bull.

    You'll feel much better.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:19 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • If you love yourself, what your mom says shouldn't matter. If your SO loves you nothing else should matter!!
    qustnmrk28

    Answer by qustnmrk28 at 11:39 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • it might not be your weight she is as much concerned about as is your general appearance. She may feel that if you don't put more effort into the way you look, it is because of some underlying self esteem issues..

    which, I hate to admit, does have some truth in it. While you may be happy all around and don't think about your appearance, it comes off as a lack of confidence in yourself to others.

    That' being said, just because you are plus sized does NOT mean you can't be fashionable. And while your hubby may love you regardless it's always nice to dress up and really wow our men sometimes.

    I'm not saying you have to dress up every day, but doing so occasionally can really help boast some confidence, so go out, go shopping, get your hair done, and just have fun. You'd be surprized how good even a little thing like a mini manicure can make you feel.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:34 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Well, that is her problem not yours & u should love yourself for who you are.
    tweetkat

    Answer by tweetkat at 11:17 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • As long as you are happy with yourself and your husband is happy then screw them!!! If you being "overweight" is a health issue, then you def should do something about it, otherwise let it in one ear and out the other!!! My MIL told my daughter I was fat - nice thing to say to my girl!! She is 300lbs and I am half her weight!! Don't let what others say get to you!!!
    jdlane1901

    Answer by jdlane1901 at 11:20 AM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Your weight issue should be between you, your husband and your doctor. If you are all happy ... then noone should be worried.
    Nebraskaoma

    Answer by Nebraskaoma at 12:56 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I used to feel the same way too. Felt that feeling of uncomfortableness around my mom.. But i am me and she isn't. SO i do what makes me happy. You should too. Just eat smart and healthy.. excercise what you can.. Pick a certain time of the morning, or when no one is around and have a 30 min work out.. I plug in the music that has a good beat to it and i start my routine.
    Airforce3mom

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 1:29 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • dont worry bout it get to where you want to be and that's all that matters
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 11:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

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