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If gays are born gay, then why do some marry & have children with the opposite sex and then date the same sex later? adult content


Asked by SuperrMommyy at 12:05 PM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

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Answers (11)
  • Perhaps they are afraid of not being accepted or just think it's easier to be straight.

    Answer by Misteh at 12:06 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Simple - they are raised to be "straight" and are trying to live up to that. I have a friend who is gay, has been gay his entire life. But because he was raised to believe that this was wrong and unnatural he dated and even had heterosexual sex... But that by no means kept him from being attracted to men. When he felt he could no longer "fake it" with women he joined the priesthood so that he could avoid women and sex all together... But that too wasn't the answer... It was only after he came out and openly came to terms with his sexuality in spite of his upbringing and lack of social (and religious) acceptance did he come to peace with himself.

    I think many people do this - although thankfully it's less and less common as homosexuality is becoming more understood. In a world where it's "Wrong to be Gay" no one wants to be and will go to extremes to hide their true selves...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:12 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • my bro (gay) dated a girl to hide the fact he was gay..... to be accepted

    Answer by navywifemomkoch at 12:07 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • These guys have it right. It happens all the time, unfortunately. It's totally a denial thing, and it can happen for many reasons, such as religion, family pressure, living somewhere where gay people are not accepted, etc. A lot of people end up hurt in the end, and it's really sad for someone to feel the need to try to hide the real them for so long. It's not just men, either; it happens with women, too.

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:49 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I don't think there is any one reason why people do this, because this is a person specific behavior. Remember, "coming out" is a very hard thing to do.

    Answer by Namaste17 at 12:11 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • maybe they are in denile that they are gay
    sometimes for years
    play it up that they are not
    maybe even try to talk their female partner into doing things that are pretty close to gay (like doing their backends with a fake male part on) that way they can still be straight, the world will think that they are straight and they themselves do not have to admit that they have urges that straight men do not

    just a thought-have no idea where i got this idea from

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:12 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Going through this right now. My husband just came out to me (two months ago) after eleven years of marriage and told me he married a woman hoping it would "go away". Coming out may have been hard for him, but he's having a fun time now... (he met a man in April and now he's spending all of his time with him) ...while our two beautiful kids get put on the backburner.

    I know being gay doesn't change who he is and I don't think an less of him for being gay. I think less of him because he's being such an a$$!


    Answer by motherofpearls at 12:17 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Many reasons.. Here's just a few.

    Deniel of being gay
    Refusal to admit they are gay
    religious reasons
    social reasons

    But the reasons are as numerable and individual as the reasons why heterosexual marry and have children with "the wrong" person. Regardless of being gay or straight, PEOPLE settle down, marry, have children with the wrong person all the time.

    People choose the "wrong" partner for their own individual reasons all the time. There is no reason why that would be any different amongst gay people.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:20 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • My ex- MIL always said she knew she was gay from the time she was very little. But she also wanted a family and knew that she'd have to be with a man. So, she dated and got married...and after 22 years of marriage decided to tell my ex- FIL and their 3 kids that she was gay. They were soon divorced and not long after that her girlfriend moved in. The kids were very upset with her when they found out. At the time, the kids were 8, 11 and 15.

    Answer by kld1979 at 12:23 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Gays have been ridiculed, outcasted, mocked, etc for centuries now. They have been seen as dirty, disgusting, freaks, and whatever else negative people can think up. Some are ashamed to be the way they are for the reasons of judgement and ridicule. Others just don't accept or believe they are, but realize later that it'st he truth. The Gay community has come a long way, but that doesn't mean it's easy for everyone to come out. That doesn't mean that everyone feels they can come out. I have a friend who was married to a women and had two kids. He was Gay. His choice was to finally free himself and accept who he is. That isn't easy. Especially in communities where difference isn't accepted or tolerated.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:47 PM on Sep. 16, 2010