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3 Bumps

What do you think of a mom who would send one of her kids to live with their father while raising her other kids with another man?

I know someone who has an older child and that child lives with the dad while she is raising her younger kids together with her husband. I don't judge, just wanted to see what you women think of a situation like this?

 
keisha613

Asked by keisha613 at 1:12 PM on Sep. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 26 (26,906 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • It depends on the situation. Some parents will give away their children for all sorts of reasons but unless we walk in thier shoes, we can only speculate and assume....I know a lady who allowed the father to raise her first two children because her new husband was in the military and the family had to move out of state. The two other children were doing great in school and she felt that taking them away from thier father would be wrong. I know another lady who agreed to have the father raise her first born child because she was young and inexperienced and he had a better life for the child. Doesn't mean that either didn't love the kids but wanted what was best for the child. Just because a woman becomes a mother doesn't necessarily mean she has the maternal instincts that other mothers have...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I don't have enough info. Sometimes kids choose to live with the father for various reasons, doesn't mean that the mom is a bad mom or person.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I think that we don't know enough about this situation to impose any judgment.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 1:46 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I think that's shit! I could NEVER give my girls up for any reason at all. My kids' dad & I aren't together & I raise both of them with my SO (the father of my soon to be born baby).. and their Bio Dad gets to see them once a week.. his choice, not mine. I don't keep them from him, & honestly Im glad he doesn't want to see them more.. I would miss them!♥
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Id wonder why. If would be helpful to know.

    If she is doing it just because she doesn't want him around, Id think she was the dumbest human on the face of the planet. I think its wrong for moms to do that, even if its what the new hubby wants. No man should come before a child. (Lots of my friends get pissy with me, because I don't hid the fact that in my life, my son comes first, hubby comes second & photography comes third. My hubby is the same with me, for him its John, Me, Cars..)

    If the child wanted to live with the father, Who cares. If its the childs choice.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 1:16 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • This is a very selfish mom, and non caring too. I would never separate my son or my two nieces. Then again, maybe the kid is out of control. Do you know if this is a problem child? Still I would seek help for the child before I go shipping him off to another state or city. Not fair at all, and I feel sorry for the kid. I'm sure he feels abandoned.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:16 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • It depends on the situation.
    Did the kid want to live with their father?
    Was the child so unruely that the mother couldn't handle the child anymore?
    Did the child not like/respect the new husband?
    Was there a better situation or better environment for the child where the father lived?

    I don't condem people for doing what she did. If there was enough reason for me to do it I would too. It depends on the situation, the wants/needs of the child, etc. It doesn't mean she or anyone who does that doesn't love/care about that child either. Again, if the situation called for it I'd do what was best for my child.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I know a few families who do that..i know families who send their high schoolers to boarding school....it's all their business.
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 1:15 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Also if she sent him to live with his father for a reason, like he was out of trouble, acting out, ect ect ect, I would think good for her.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 1:17 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I don't care what any of you say. Good moms "DO NOT" give up on their kid. I would never feel comfortable sending my son to his dad, and keeping my nieces home with me. How do you think he would feel? He would feel as if he is not wanted.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:18 PM on Sep. 16, 2010