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how do I explain this? adult content

I have been talking to this guy thats a friend of the family for a while. I am married. Anyway we get to talking and we end up talking about things that we shouldnt be talking about, but i didnt think anything about it beacause i tusted him to keep it confidential. well his gf found the texts and now is forwarding them to my husband, and saying that I am a whore. I never cheated on my husband. I only talked to this guy. Well I told dh that his friends gf is a weirdo which she is so I said she made it all up. She has always been jelouse of my friendship with her bf. Well now dh beileves I did not cheat on him, but how do i explain the crazy texting talking we did? I dont want to lose my dh. I need help

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Come clean about it. You're getting lost in all your lies.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:25 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Tell him you see your friend as a "gay friend", someone you can tak to openly about things like you do to your girlfriends.
    jolee0222

    Answer by jolee0222 at 1:26 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Honestly.. I think even talking inappropriately to another man is cheating.. You should be open & honest with him & don't tell him any lies.. You will dig yourself deeper if you lie.. & it seems you already have.. so good luck gettin yourself outta that hole!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:26 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I would just tell the truth. Tell him you guys were talking and took it too far. Let him know that you don't want to lose him and that you will never do it again. You have to expect he will be angry because I would be angry if I found my dh texting inappropriate things to another woman.
    ilovemykids2325

    Answer by ilovemykids2325 at 1:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Well, if you were worried about your DH getting these, you shouldn't have done it in the first place. in the future, don't text/say anything that you don't want DH to see or hear.

    As for how to fix it, it's all about trust. You will have to gain it back and he will have to be willing to put it in the past. It will be a joint effort but expect for him to bring it up for awhile and not trust you for awhile.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Don't lie about it. Tell him the truth. Tell him you were just texting and didn't think anything about it because he was your friend. That nothing happened between the two of you. If you lie to your husband and the truth comes out, then its just going to make the situation that much worse.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:27 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Tell him the truth. Restate your platonic relationship with this guy, but also tell him you are going to pull back from the friendship a bit, because while the texting was innocent, the possibility of it hurting your relationship and your family is NOT worth it. Reinforce how important he is to you.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 1:29 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Lying is a deep hole and the more you lie the bigger it gets. You did wrong, admit it and stop doing it. Don't mean to sound harsh, but how would you feel if your hubby was texting or sexting what ever the case may be.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 1:31 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Good for her. Why do you think your texts are confidential? Anyone who has access to his phone can read them and his GF would definitely be one of those people you already new that was a possibility but chose to ignore it. Don't blameher because you are acting inappropriately its not her fault, at least take responsibility for it. 

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 1:31 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I can't tell you what you should do. I can only share how I would try and handle the situation.

    1).. In my marriage. That type of conversation would be considered cheating and that would have to be dealt with.
    2) I would have to be totally honest with my husband about the conversation, my reasons for having the conversation....etc.

    All I could do is be honest with my husband. From there, what I would do next, would totally depend on the state of my marriage. If I participated in this type of behaviour because of issues within my marriage, then we (husband & I) would have to begin working on those. Whatever issues this caused, we would have to work on them. etc..

    The reality is also this, in my marriage because this would be considered cheating. I would also have to be prepared for the possibility of my husband wanting a divorce.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:40 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

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