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my S/O backing out of therapy, and I am not on insurance, so I can not go alone

I am willing to go to therapy, very well may be our last chance
He is now backing out after one time
I would go by myself but I am not on his insurnace
so here I am, trying so hard for our relationship, and therefore our family not breaking apart, and he is not willing to even try

any guess on how long it will take to get through my thick skull that he is not worth the effort I keep putting forth...my well is nearing empty

 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 3:20 PM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You may be filling your well with the wrong stuff. Let the bad stuff drain and go find good water for your well. Sometimes what we think we want isn't the best thing for us. Something better is in store for you. Just let go of the bad so you can grab the good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • If he is not willing, it's time for you to step back. You can't fix it alone. It takes two.
    Good luck
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:22 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Therapy is not going to save a relationship. The willingness to use the tools therapy offers is what saves the relationship. If he's not willing. You need to move on. You can however take those skills away with you that you have recieved, and use them in the future. You can't control what he does, only yourself. Good Luck.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:26 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • If he is backing out that means that he doesn't feel that he is part of the problem. Therapy only works if both of you are willing to open up and take critisizm and accept responsibility.
    He isn't taking responsibility. Get out now rather than shoulder all the blame for your relationship failing.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:38 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • thanks
    need to call new school district back to get paperwork in order for proof of residency in new location
    i go from trying anything to keep our family together...then take a needed stepin the plan to start a new life...and back to trying to reach him, it is like a dance i do with myself, with each try to reach him and a fail, i do something more on list to get out
    yesterday i got her borth certificate papers, i have called new school and spoke to sp ed director, still have lots to do..including gettng pictures together for her=that is going to be a killer day=all those memories! Jesus I will have some tears that day

    thanks again for your support, funny and sad how a bunch of wonderful strangers can reach out further than the man who you have been with for five years and have a family with
    fiatpax

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 3:46 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Ending a relationship is like going thru a death. The "grieving process" is the almost the same. Even if he wont go, you can find free counseling at a church or some other women's organizations. There are places out there to help you get back on your feet- not necessarily govt. asst- but charitable organizations as well. You will get thru this. Just make sure you get some counseling for the kids too. Believe me, those kids will help keep you strong! Good luck to you all and to the start of the new chapter in your life.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:25 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

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