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Ugh, feeling so hard on myself today

I don't know why but today I'm questioning myself as a mother, I've never really experienced this and I am hating it. I feel hard on myself like, why can't I do it all? Why can't I have a great meal made every night and why can't I have more one on one time with my 1 and 3 year old even though I'm a sahm. I feel like I"m always making food or cleaning up something even though I do the bare minimum to get by. I feel bad that my 3 year old doesn't have any friends to play with because we're new to our area and she is not going to be in preschool this year. I worry if I'm getting them out enough to do new things. They are such wonderful loving kids yet have this totally nagging feeling of should I do anything different? My husband works long hours, I have no family nearby to help babysit ever... I'm just worrying my kids are with me 99% of the time, do they need more? I've never questioned this till today. Anyone feel this ever?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Sep. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Take a minute to relax and regroup. You are doing a good job! You are not super woman. There are a million ways to be a good mother!

    One idea for a fun activity is to go to the local libray story hour. You might meet young moms there and the library also usually posts things that are going on. Call or stop by your local Chamber of Commerce or visitor's center for more leads.

    Pat yourself on the back for doing a great job! GL

    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:17 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I have these feelings sometimes. I just have to remind myself that being a mom is hard and just remember im doing all that I can, my kids are happy and they are ood kids so I just need to be happy with that. PM me if you wanna chat!!!
    JacobsMommy05

    Answer by JacobsMommy05 at 5:36 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I think it is pretty normal to question ourselves and our abilities sometimes....been there. I tend to get stuck in the idea that I should have a wonderfully clean home and a great nutritious meal on the table on the table every night while being 100% patient and understanding with my kids and partner. HMMMM not going to happen...sometimes my unrealistic expectations are really hard to live with not living up to.  But in talking to other mom's I begin to realize that I am being too hard on myself and not realistic.


    Sounds like you need other mom's to talk to...any Mom's groups in your area?

    bookworm23

    Answer by bookworm23 at 6:54 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • you need not be so hard on yourself, i was in the same situation. lived far away from my family and husband worked all the time. Just me and our 2 children home all day by ourselves, no car and no neighbors. Remember, your only human and can only do so much. Are your kids taken care of, are they happy, do you play with them, keep up your home, do laundry, cook, clean, bathe, .Your not superwoman, your a mom, you have needs too. As long as they're happy and you do the best you can, stop beating yourself up. Enjoy them now. They'll go to school when they're 5 and make new friends. Be kind to yourself. Ask yourself if you would be so critical if it was a friend of yours who was going thru the same situation. God, your amazing to do what you do, all by yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back.
    cardinal58

    Answer by cardinal58 at 8:04 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Daily. But I do the best I know how to do. It will get better. Even though we are parents, we are not superhuman. We all make mistakes, and the sooner we realize that, the happier we can make the kids.
    Carol936

    Answer by Carol936 at 8:06 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Ok, stop right there. This is a huge waste of your time and energy. Let me tell you something sister, even we veteran moms (I have 5) have moments where we think we are dropping the ball in one area or another. Not one of us is perfect. When I feel overwhelmed and that I am not doing the best as I can by my kids, I brush those thoughts aside. If you feel your DD needs friends, then I would try to enroll her in preschool, join a church, place an add on craigslist or here at cafemom, to build a social network, not only for her but for you as well. If preschool is out of the question, then work with her on your own, make flash cards with ABC's etc. Just make a point to get down on the floor once a day for some quality time. I think you are feeling stressed by having kids 24/7 with no real help or outlet. Go for walks and see what treasures in nature you can find, best things in life are free. Relax momma, it will be ok!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:35 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

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