Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

ok i have been with my boyfriend for five and a half yrs.should i leave him because he wont marry me??

he didnt tell me in the beginning that he doesnt ever want to be married.i do.i want the wedding the marriage.we have 2 kids together and 2 kids that are mine from a previous relationship.He will be 29 this yr.on top of it all,he still wants to party and hang out.He hangs out with younger women.Should i just call it quits.

Answer Question

Asked by jennandkids08 at 11:03 PM on Oct. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • If you didn't have children, I would say you should leave immediately. But since you have children, you have to consider them as well as yourself. They need their daddy even though it sounds like he may not be the best example to them. I am very sad for you. Stories like yours are why I teach young women to wait until after they are married to have sex.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:15 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • I would leave him.

    Answer by Lynette at 11:15 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • That's a tough one. The thing is, it doesn't sound like he's ready for marriage. So he's really doing you a favor by not asking yet! You do not want to be married to someone who is still "hangin out". So, if you love him, you can try to stick it out for a little while longer. He could mature. Or, you can move on if you decide you want more. You leaving might make him grow up real quick. But I don't want to advise you to try that as a tactic!

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:19 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • thnaks for the advice ladies

    Answer by jennandkids08 at 11:27 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • go he isn't gonna change.

    Answer by Lyndall at 11:38 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • get out while you still can. hurry up. You'll find someone else amazing and end up married and in love.

    Answer by peppermintkathy at 11:54 PM on Oct. 17, 2008

  • You dont know whats gonna happen do you talk to him about this does he know you want to get married?? My boyfriend has a friend that is like 28 or 29 and a major party boy and swore he would never get married he has been with the same girl for 4 or 5 years and cheated alot in the beginning and I thought was just a major jerk but he has actully grown up alot and they are getting married next month so some times it takes men a little longer to come around he might come out of it 30 sometimes is a wake up call for men if you wanna wait that long!! Now im sorry your going through this cause im in the same boat we have been together for 4 years and engaged for over 2 years almost 3 and we have 2 going on 3 kids and he still wont step up and do it so at least your not sitting there wondering y he asked but wont marry you id talk to him and hang out a little longer good luck!!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:23 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • YES. That's an easy one. Get your ducks in a row so he's legally responsible for the kids. But get out. You don't need Party Boy.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:49 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Why is everyones solution always get out and get the money from the dad!! yes there are situations that i agree with the statement.... but why do we want to teach our kids to walk away when a problem arises and not work at it!! What about our daughters do we really want to teach them if you have a marriage problem just walk out and take his kids away and get him for his money!! Again I agree if any type of abuse in going on but come on this is why the divorce rate is so darn high i have been divorced and left and took the child and its very hard on the kid, now im in a realationship and its no walk in the park but I will never just walk away again i want my kids to see me trying to make something work and not just giving up!! Come up with some new solutions ladies... like working at it or maybe counsling or something besides giving up walking out and collecting $$$$

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:56 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Hanging out with younger women? Please. I'd get out because he won't change. Your kids can still have their dad. They don't need to see daddy in a relationship with mommy but hanging out with other women?! What a jerk...I'm sorry! You deserve waaaaaaay better. If he says he doesn't ever want to marry, listen to him! He's probably not lying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.