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i am feeling neglected (venting)

I am a working mom and my husband is a stay at home dad. Don't misunderstand, he is not a bumb. I earn a higher income and we have two disabled children to care for without babysitters so he and i decided this would work best for our family. anyway, i come home and would like to hear from him a simple hello, how was your day love? are you thirsty? would you like something to eat? But NOO, as soon as he sees me walk in the house he is quick to call his friend to hang out at a local pub or pool hall at least four times per week. by the time he returns he is too exhausted or sleepy. I enjoy that he has friends because i do too but i want to spend time with him too. We have discussed this many times but he says that i am overreacting. when we make love, i make him feel ammazing, he says; and i make sure he is satisfied. but i am left wanting more, like always. this sucks! maybe i should find myself a "friend". just ventin

 
alejandra559

Asked by alejandra559 at 10:30 PM on Sep. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (699 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Vent on but do not act on it...Realize that men see things totally different than what we see them...and then too sometimes we aren't looking at the whole picture...I'm just an outsider looking in, so tell me if I step on your toes or not...your husband is at home all day with 2 disabled children...how do you think that makes him feel? Just being home period with children is very stressful and for him to step up to the plate like he has, I commend him...there are a lot of men who would shy away from this type of responsibility...secondly, how are you approaching him about your feelings? Are you being demanding? nagging? needy to him? Think about it...and think about what he puts up with every day...he's gone only 4 days out of a seven day week...those other three nights he's home with you so make the best of those nights that you have with him and maybe, those 4 days that he's spending with the boys will reduce to zero days...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 10:54 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Maybe you could plan a date nite every once in a while, so you can get some quality time together. Try to get him to limit his going out to once or twice a week. Sounds very stressful, for both of you- hope you can work something out =)
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Dont find a friend! You have two children to worry about. If its hard even with your husband, think if you didnt have him caring for them. Talk to him again and make rules on how many days he can go out a week. Tell him 2 nights out a week is enough....You need time with him too...And tell him what you want in bed before you give him what he wants! :)

    Good Luck!

    But no friend!!! Unless its battery operated! lol
    tiger_tatted1

    Answer by tiger_tatted1 at 10:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • I am the stay at home parent, but I know how you feel. My husband is outside with his friends right now. Sometimes I think he is trying to avoid me. But then he is mad at me because I couldn't get a babysiiter so we could go out tomorrow night. I don't know. They can be soo confusing sometimes.
    suebee3

    Answer by suebee3 at 10:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • good luckI sort of understand your hubbys view piont. I'm a SAHM with one kid and by the timeDH comes home I just want to collapse into a ball and cry. But he needs time to chill. So we came up with a thing. The first hour or so he's home the 3 of us try to spend quality time together before he takes the kid and I put my feet up. It seems to work ok for us. I hope you find a solution.

    nicole_Evans

    Answer by nicole_Evans at 10:37 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

  • Speak to him again. Maybe tell him that your not feeling satisfied and fulfilled in the relationship. Sometimes with men we have to spell it out for him. I would even hold out on sex until I can get the emotional attention I'm looking for.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 10:46 PM on Sep. 16, 2010

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