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What is more important0staying here so she can be near her dad, or moving her to where the love of my family is abundant?

I live in NJ with my 2 year old, and her father and his family live here as well. Although we are in close proximity to them, his family is making a less than half-hearted effort to be involved in my dd's life. My so's mom only seems to be interested in her only grandchild when I make the effort to bring her over. He has no siblings. SO has a lot of adult and middle-age cousins, and he has very little contact with them.

My family lives in Nevada, and there are a lot of us there. My sister has 3 young kids (plus one on the way). My brother has a 13 year old daughter. I have lots of aunts, uncles and cousins, and we are all in contact with one another. This past week I took my dd to meet them for the first time, and she had a blast playing with her cousins.

I want to move back to Nevada so my dd can have the love of my family. It would mean not seeing her dad very often. But what is more important? Can you help?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It is important to follow your heart. You better than anyone know what the situation is like. You could be doing more damage by staying and teaching her to become like they are. A person is who they are. You can't change them. If in your daughter's dad's heart he wanted to really be there, he would have before you ever thought to say anything. She can learn about loving relationships in loving families. I was raised with others outside my immediate family. There were moments I wish I'd known them better. But ever so thankful I didn't. My sister's who stayed are a mess today. I've been married thirty years, they've all been divorced and married many times over. WARNING: PLZ LET NO ONE FROM HIS FAMILY know you are leaving. You dont want to become another sitistic whose daughter disappeared by family member. Or have some of your family (men) come help you & protect you as you make this change. U R A GOOD MOM! U R DOING RIGHT!

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 10:02 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • i dont hubs and i have always said that we would never move really far away from each other if we ever divorced...but he would be super involved in our son's life.

    have you talked about it with him?

    Answer by erinwhitt at 12:52 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I'd move. I could never be that far away from my family. It sounds like her father doesn't really care to see her. However, I wouldn't tell him you plan on moving until you're moved. He might try and stop you.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 1:06 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I would move to be near your family. You need a support system and it sounds like you would have one if you moved. There are lots of ways to work out visitation long distance. I think you and your daughter would be happier with the move. GL

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:33 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I think that the relationship that a daughter has with her father is more important than relationships with any other extended family. A girl needs a dad to show her what it feels like to be loved by a man.

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:43 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

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