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5 Bumps

My husbands ex wife treats us like crap (piog)

She lies about us to our friends and family, sd included. She contacts him all the time and turns situations around to make it seem like our fault if things don't go her way. I am sick of her but really feel bad for her. Dh says ignore her but it's hard. She acts as if she is still married to him. We are great parents to my dh's dd, very responsible and happy...except for this. We want what's best for sd so a good relationship and open communication are important to us. We would rather all of us be civil but it's been almost 3 years of so much negativity from her and I don't see an end to this bad behavior. What is it going to take to make it stop?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Being an adult. More her it sounds then you and hubby. Some people just don't want to grow all the up and they have to be childish about somethings. This mother bring the child into it is VERY CHILDISH. What her thoughts of you are her business and should have nothing to do with the SD. When your SD gets older she will realize how childish her mother has really been being. Things will all work but for the time being you just keep the peace and kill her kindness. Trust me it will eat her up inside.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:08 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Its hard when the one who gets left is left hurting, feeling rejected, & abandoned. They have a hard time seeing their spouse move on in life, new love, new wife/ husband. They become jealous/ envious someone's doing things with their spouse instead of them. They think if they make their lives miserable, like they r, they'll feel better. Its an illusion. But you can't tell them that. The worst part if children r involved. More often a child becomes a pawn between them. The one who gets the custody wil use the child to punish the ex-spouse. "I'll make it so u never see the kids again..." The husband/wife starts a new family, and the children are left with relationship/ abandonment issues the rest of their lives. No one wins in divorce. Maybe understanding this you can re-assure her she will always be the kid's mom. Involve her in some activities/holidays. Go 4 coffee alone & ask what u both can do together 4 sake of children.
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 5:58 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • It sounds to me like a jealous reaction on the X's part, be patient hopefully she will get over it.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 9:42 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I've kinda been there and done that. I don't know if it will ever stop, exactly, but my ex-wife and I are able to be totally civil to each other now, and things are getting better all around. I hope things work out for you. All I can say is stick it out.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 10:57 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Well i know this is easier said then done,, i have also at one time had the same thing.. Its just best for you to ignore her.. i mean don't talk to her because she is nothing to you.. The better not said, then better for you in the end. Make a journal about her, write down everything she has done that you know of first handedly, anything that you have heard her say and dates and times. You don't know when this could get real ugly that you might have to see an attorney. If you do, take the journal with you. But the best thing i can tell you is just stop the talking between you and her. Your DH needs to step up and tell her to grown up and stop all the drama.
    Airforce3mom

    Answer by Airforce3mom at 11:34 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I'm in the same sort of situation... my SO's ex wife tries very hard to make our lives a living H-E-*-* She used to harrass me over the phone to the point where I had to change my phone number. I know she says AWFUL things about me, but I really don't let it bother me as much anymore. I don't talk to her, call her names, get mean or anything... Why would I stoop to her level...

    I've made a point to stay out of it, as whatever issues they have have nothing to do with me. She tries to blame me all the time for their marriage breaking apart, and plays the pity card that they have a daughter together... but I came along after their divorce had started. The fact of the matter is she'll always be around as they have a child together...We just hope she'll meet someone else. I DO however keep a record every email, text or record of her calling me incase she goes even more crazy than right now...
    RigPrincess85

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 12:48 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

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