Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why would a Dad not see their own kid? To spite the moms?



Asked by NicolesMommy at 2:05 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (12,504 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Most likely it is fear on the part of the absent parent. It is very hard to face the ones we have hurt, and may convince ourselves that they are probably better off without us. I have seen fathers intend to re-establish a relationship with their kids after the anger has died down, and find that the more time that passes, the harder it gets to find the courage to re-connect.

    Most of the absent fathers I have met (including my husband's) allowed fear to prevent them from doing what they really wanted to, which was see and love their kids.

    If this is in regards to your own ex, try to let go of the anger and reach out to him to tell him it is okay to connect with your child. Did you know that the brain automatically fills in negative information if there is no information? Meaning that if he is absent he does not know how to respond to you and your child, and that not knowing can perpetuate the fears.

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 2:14 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I think the only person who has any say over who is or isn't allowed in heaven is God...just saying.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 2:07 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • They don't like the responsibility. To some they just don't want to grow up, now they have their time back and no distractions from their kids.

    Answer by Carol936 at 7:30 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I'd have to agree with Carol936 and would also add that this particular breed of.. (not really a father, couldn't even be classified as a Man)... male has only his own interests at heart. You don't need a selfish parner, luv. Raising a child is difficult enough, you don't want to have to raise him aswell. You're both better off without him.

    Answer by CassyzMom at 8:50 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • What WyndenSkie said about father's fears is correct. My husband left because he couldn't handle the mother always in his face telling him what a bad father he was, or if he had a girlfriend, she threaten to keep him from seeing his son. He had no life. She was always on his case for something. Finally one day, he realised there was nothing more he could do for his son because of the way she bad mouthed him. He stayed away out of shame. He thought if another man raised him, he stood a better chance at being loved on. He has longed for the day he can see him. He hope when he turns 18 his son will seek him out. But he won't iniate it because he doesn't want to come between his family. It has been hard on him not being able to be involved. But knows he did the right thing letting go.

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 10:31 AM on Sep. 17, 2010