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Do your parents and/or inlaws enjoy being with your kids?

Mine don't and its truly sad. My kids beg to go to their house(parents) and whenever they do my mom and dad gripe and complain about EVERYTHING. My kids are very well behaved and were very easy-going babies. But it never fails, they get an attitude with me and they even had the audacity to say a few weks ago to me that they wanted to be grandparents, but didn't want to have them over a lot. WHAT?! And let me be clear, by "a lot" they mean more than a couple hours once a week. I never ask them for anything, I never even ask them to watch kids. I am SAHM and dh works a full-time job that is very demanding and a part-time one too. His parents, one is dead and the other is in a nursing home with severe dementia. My parents have NO JOB. They also didn't really raise me, grandparents did. They are breaking my heart daily and when I've brought it up n the past they just get an attitude and deny hurting my feelings.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Well my parents are very godly people and they love my kids very much. My father works two jods and he still loves spendidng time with my babies he brags on them like they are his children. I live with them right now so it's kind of easy for them, but they tell me when I get my own place to bring them over everyday so I'm just blessed with good parent's and I wish you the best with your situation. My mother even taught my little girl for me while I was working and shes in kindergarden, but she's on a third grade level. I think it depends on the heart of the person and that just lets you know what kind of people they are and no matter what your children will be blessed and they dont need negative people in their life like that. They will realize one day that they are selfish and they go need some one to care for them.
    Red162

    Answer by Red162 at 3:12 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't take it personally. It is sad and you want them to share your joy,but they are so negative. You will only be dissapointed by expecting something from them that they will never give. You don't have to cut them off, but just limit your contact for your own sake as well as your kids. Your kids don't need that kind of critical influence. Maybe if you keep phone conversations brief and visit less often, they will take a hint and not voice every doubt or camplaint they have.
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 2:58 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • My inlaws and my family absolutely LOVE seeing Emery. But, both our families live pretty far away, so they don't get to see her that often. When they do though, it's a huge thing for them--they love it.
    KelseyC

    Answer by KelseyC at 2:43 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • My parents are wonderful grandparents they love coming to my house and spend all there time with my DD my older sister also has four children and they live like 15 minutes from my parents so the kids are always over at my parents house we don't live so close were about 2 hours away so when we go there or my parents come down here we make a day out of it and it's always really nice to see them. I look back to my childhood and i remember my parents being at work a lot and it's just nice that my sister and I have children and they a huge part of our childrens lives. My family has always been really close but we are closer now then ever before.
    I am sorry that you just can't win or loss with your parents have you laid it all out on the table. I would be completely honest and if they choose not to listen then they are making that choose themselves. You can't change them, don't try to do that.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:28 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I am truly sorry for what you are going through my Mom could care less if she sees my daughter my dad absolutely adores my daughter and spends as much time with her as possible. They are divorced and it used to be I thought my dad didn't care about all of us kids growing up he was very mean but he has this bond with my dd. We are grandparents of 12 grand kids and see 3 on a regular basis. I would love to see them more but for whatever reasons the parents don't bring them around. I get tired of being the one to call can I see Ariel, Trace & Sammi or whoever. I wish I could adopt your kids I feel bad for them. My husbands parents are all dead and lived a long ways away like 700miles so when they were alive we didn't get to see them often but I know that my MIL thought the world of all of her grandkids and treated them very special when they were all around. Huge Hugs!

    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:21 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • my DD's extended family absolutely adores her, & loves spending time with her. However if that were not the case, I would just cut those people out of her life. Why would I subject her to that? Its their loss not the kids. As long as you & DH love them & spend time with them, thats all that matters IMPO
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:39 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • if it is that bad then you should just change your phone numbers, block them from emailing you etc.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 3:00 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • So much so that I think they're trying to find ways to spend more time with them than when we have them! LOL
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 6:26 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • My in-laws adore my DS, but they live far away. My mom likes the appearance of being the adoring grandma, but she doesn't really want the work involved. My nieces can't even tell her what their other grandparents got them for Christmas because she always gets her butt on her shoulders. It's sad, but, I can't really expect more from her or I get disappointed. So, I expect very little. She was the same way when we were growing up. I don't leave my son alone with her because all it takes is one phone call and she's not paying attention to what he's doing. I and my sister have caught him doing some dangerous things while she was "watching" him, but on the phone. My Dad adores my son, but his health is failing, so I have to keep visits short or he gets worn out. Maybe that's what you need to do, keep the visits short and once a week or every couple of weeks. If they are that negative, you don't want your kids around that anyway.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 6:48 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • That is hard. But you don't want your kids at a place they are not wanted. I'd just continue to visit on a schedule that is ok with your parents.
    crazycappuccino

    Answer by crazycappuccino at 7:37 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

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