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4 Bumps

Do I kick my mother out???

O.k. I had a baby 6 weeks ago and my mother has been here the last 3 months to help me. She does not have a house and bounces around to all her kids houses when she wants. She has been a great help and we pay her monthly, buy all her food and she lives here without paying a dime. In exchange she has helped with cooking and cleaning and ocassionally rocking the baby during the day. My husband is out of town alot and I have 3 other kids I care for so this has helped. The ONLY thing she does not seem to want to help me with is taking the baby so I can SLEEP. I have been up all nights with baby and I can not even talk straight!!!She refuses!!! In the the mean time she goes to movies with my kids, helps them with projects and takes my credit card to go shopping as I am so TIRED during the day. It is now five am and I begged her to take him for one session feeding so i could have at least four hours straight sleep and she said NO

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Maybe she is on overload too and exhausted? Maybe she has sleep issues that you are unaware of and takes medication at night to help her sleep? Maybe she is prone to migraines if her sleep is interrupted. Things change as we get older. Maybe she draws the line at being up during the night. Talk to her and understand her reasons.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:27 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I would talk to her and tell her "mom I really appreciate all that you do around the house and that you have helped out with the older kids--- BUT what I really need is someone to take the baby so I can get some sleep! I am dead on my feet and I would really appreciate your help!". I might also mention that since you are supporting her it might be in her best interest to give you some sleep time--- or she may have to start paying you rent, pay for her own food, or she may be asked to leave. (maybe since she has no job/income she will not want to risk being kicked out and she might just decide to do what you ask). Good luck, I hope you get some sleep soon!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 7:46 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Have you asked her why? The rest of her help sounds great, so I don't understand why she would refuse to let you sleep.
    AuroraMoon

    Answer by AuroraMoon at 7:38 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I totaly agree with Mizlee...great answer!
    TJones32

    Answer by TJones32 at 7:52 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I would put it to her just like you explained to us... I know it may be a little uncomfortable to confront her but its better to do that than have this strain on your relationship. Find out why she is saying no she wont take the baby for a little bit, maybe she has a good reason. Good luck! I know it is a difficult situation but it is ALWAYS better to confront someone rather than beat around the bush! Hope you get some sleep soon!!!!

    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:10 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Well, in all honesty the baby is not her responsibility. My hubby also works round the clock. I would give ANYTHING to at least have a little help around the house. Be grateful you have help with the other kids and household chores. Imagine how much harder your life would have been if she hadn't been there. She fed you and clothed you and made sacrifices for you for most of your life and didn't expect anything in return. We all have to go through the sleepless nights. You'll survive. Don't kick her out. Go give her a hug and a kiss and thank her for being there for you.
    CassyzMom

    Answer by CassyzMom at 8:20 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • sounds like she doesnt want to be tied down with a baby...unable to do anything. However, you would think she would help since she is staying there. I think i would have to be a royal bitch about it. I would be like "this..is really the only thing i need you for right now..if you can't take the baby so i can get some effing sleep..then get out and i will find someone who wants to help" I would tell her.."i'm helping you..so you help me"..its a two way street..
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:26 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • cassy...they pay her and let her live in their home rent free. She has every right to be upset...her mother came to help with the baby. I completely understand.. its like your mother wiggled her way into your home just to get a free ride and now she doesnt want to help you with her end of the deal
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:30 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • elizabr has a point
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:31 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • But should it be a new mom's job to ask about what health or other issues her mother has that would prevent her from helping with the baby? It's clear she needs a hand with all the kids, but especially the baby, and has asked for help...mom should explain why she won't help out.
    bosco2085

    Answer by bosco2085 at 10:55 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

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