Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

When a man and a woman dont love each other any more, do they stay together for the children?

moste of tthe Time moms do some sacrifice to give an 'equilibrate' life to there kids even if she's not happy deep inside.even if they'll thought doing right to the kids ... When moms give birth to girls ( specailly )and the girl become woman, Become sisters and ladies, did she support 100% her moms life? or she dosn't because it is normal for her that mom sacrifice lots for her ... do you think some sacrifice helps kids ?

 
caramelH

Asked by caramelH at 7:38 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (14,104 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I just want to ask as 'food for thought' - how long were you ladies "unhappy" and what all did you try to fix things? I only ask because I've heard many older couples say that they had a patch where they weren't happy or thought they'd fallen out of love etc...and yet years later they couldn't imagine not being w/ that person or loving them any more than they do...

    I don't suggest anyone stay in an abusive situation - ever; but I worry that our society puts a lot of emphasis on immediate gratification and if things don't happen the way we want quickly enough we tend to give up / move on / want something different (eg: "better") etc...
    beachmamaof2

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't sacrifice my happiness. Kids know. If you stay in a loveless marriage they will think that's the way they should live. Do you want them being miserable? Right now they will think your unhappiness is being caused by them. That's not right either. I left. My children were happy I left. They turned out better bc I let them know happiness was important.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I didn't stay with my dd's dad. My reasoning is I would rather dd see her dad and I getting along and being friendly than being together and fighting all the time. That's a very unhealthy environment for a child.
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 8:14 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • i am making that choice right now
    and after many months of trying to get relationship healthy (it takes two)
    and many posts on here-thank you ladies
    I have decided that ..if I could not see my daughter in a relationship like this, I should not be either, not only because I should love myself but because it is setting her up for a simialar relationship in the future by example of how a man is treating a woman
    not a good example i want for my daughter
    I want her to have love, which means respect, and thinking of my dad(who passed last Spring, i think that he would want a man who respects me also
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:28 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • In all honesty, if things were like that with me, I wouldn't want my kids around it. It's not good for the kids, no matter what the parents think. It's not good for them.

    I agree with the ladies that marriage isn't disposable, however. If it's not abusive, is it fixable? Don't give up just because you hit a slump or a rut. It may just be a passing phase. Give it a chance before you make any major life altering decisions.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 10:52 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I am an old fashioned girl, Till death do us part
    angelgirl962

    Answer by angelgirl962 at 8:33 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Not at all...going through it right now. It is unhealthy for kids to be in an environment like that and it's unhealthy for them to think that's how a marriage works.
    motherofpearls

    Answer by motherofpearls at 11:48 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I personally wouldn't stay in that kind of of situation. If we're not happy and we've attempted in fixin' things and still no change then I'd be gone. It's unhealthy for your children to be in that kind of environment because they start to believe they'll equate the unhappiness as playing a role in a successful marriage. My SO stayed with his ex for 3 years because of their daughter and he was absolutely miserable, he tried everything to make it work and nothing ever changed... Now that he's out of that environment he's 100000000000000000 times happier.
    RigPrincess85

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 12:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • What happens if your DH has that same roll model in his own parents!!! They stayed together and have been for 35 years or whatever. And I know that they don't have a loving relationship. I asked his mom straight out if she was happy like that??? And she said no, but that she's staying together for her grandkids!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? She's so scared to be by herself and have some happiness in her life...and she knows that he wont go to counselling at this stage in life. I'm like really???? And I guess she's just happy to be with someone she knows. Comfortable...and funny cause now I'm going thru that same thing with her son. We aren't married, but have been together for 10 years + and have two small kids together and I am honestly not HER!! And I am open to finding help cause I know it works. I just am at my end too, should I stay or go? I'm afraid of missing out on happiness if I stay...ya know?
    logankaysmomi

    Answer by logankaysmomi at 8:24 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • i just could say that life is too short to not be lived to max , at each time and every moment , so sacrifice somtimes turn bad .. kids will grow up and once adulte they'll leave momy's house and that time she should be old to live deep as much as she was young , each person has his owne way . you can sacrifice other things in life like worke or place but not your life, evere

    hugs to those momys that they'r living the same situation
    caramelH

    Comment by caramelH (original poster) at 9:21 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN