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I'm confused...What do I do??

I have a dilemma and have no idea how to handle it. You see it first started when I was married to my ex-hubby, the marriage lasted for only 9yrs. The reason it didn't last any longer was because he cheated during the entire marriage. After my divorce I met another guy and we dated for a while then one day he,my two sons and I were in an auto accident together. After that this guy had to have back surgery,my two sons and I then moved in with him so that I could be there to take care of him until he was able to get out of bed and help himself. Anyways, we just stayed until I had been there for 17yrs,with no committment or anything. Then all at once one day out of the blue he just told me that it would be best if I left and went somewhere else. Can you imagine how I felt at that point? Now I feel that I am in the same similar situation. My BF doesn't want marriage as I do...what's next???


Asked by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Oct. 18, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I wonder if your dating people that you know deep down are never going to commit? You need to do some soul searching and make your wishes known early in your relationships. Don't be a door mat for other people, be good to yourself and get your needs met.

    Answer by stephanie1076 at 8:44 PM on Oct. 18, 2008


    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 8:32 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Am I right that you have been there 17yrs? You took care of him while he was hurt? This is how he treats you. You must have seen this coming? Has he always treated you this way. Sorry to be the one to say this but you should have left long ago. Move on you deserve better!

    Answer by mothermayiam at 8:44 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I think you're leaving out some important details and factors of the story. Bottom line-- 17yrs is a long time----Common Law Marriage in most states. If he wants you out, by all means, Pack your things and move on. Metaphorically and Literally!!! And by the way, on the way out, take half!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • So what happened that he wants you out? I mean there has to be more? Irregardless I suppose the best advice any of us could give you is good riddens! Why would you want to stay somewhere you weren't wanted? As a previous poster put it, 17 years is far exceeding common law in most states, most states it's 7-10 years with 10 being the federal guideline.

    Answer by smilinghug at 9:23 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • You will do what's in your heart as most of us would do... but you know the answer in your head or you wouldn't have asked. Staying longer doesn't make it better... in the end - you only hurt worse.

    Answer by awnryprincess at 9:25 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • take him to court u deserve HALF of everything........... it's called common law marriage if you two were shareing a bed togrther as a man and wife would .....

    Answer by MarksGurl at 9:41 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • You deserve much better===find someone that !

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • You deserve much better, find someone that wants what you want

    Answer by carrie26a at 12:39 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • not all states recognize it and if you were not living with him in the capacity of man and wife (without the paper) then you can't get half of everything from him. Room mates don't have rights like a wife or common law wife. All he has to do is claim you lived under his roof as a caregiver and that blows common law wife out of the water. However, after devoting 17 yrs I'd ask him to find me a home and set me up. He morally owes you at least that much but also know that if he wants he can have you evicted from his home. I think he should have been honest long before now but you can still pick up the pieces and move on. We're here for moral support if you need us.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:04 PM on Oct. 18, 2008