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Was/Is number of children to have an issue?

My DH and I have 2 boys 4 and 14 mths at the end of july it was time to refill my 3 mth supply of bc pills but we had some insurance issues and they didnt cover it so we didnt get it. The beginging i took a pg test just to make sure since i havent had a period since july and my DH said you better not be pg. Well turns out that im not but it has really hurt my feelings and how i feel. We have had a ton of sex and havent protected at all. I just thought if it happend we would both be ok with it but we werent trying either. Well now my husband tells me he doesnt want another for awhile if ever. Im hurt cause i was starting to get excited about preparing for another pregnancy/child. I really want another child and would like to get pg within the next year.

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Asked by mommyofone15 at 11:54 AM on Sep. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (576 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • What exactly are you asking..i'm lost.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:56 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Huh?

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:57 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Nope.

    We knew if we ever decided to have children. That we would only have one.

    We decided to have a child after our first 6 years of marriage.... 25 years of marriage later, and we have one 18 year old son.. We have never had the desire, need, or want to have more children.

    For us.. This was something that needed to be and was agreed upon before we ever ventured down the path of parenthood.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:57 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • The number of kids is different for every couple. And if he doesn't want kids, then, he needs to abstain from sex until you get your pills or wear a condom. He can't get mad if he is having sex unprotected left and right with you. Y'all should have already discussed a stopping point with kids anyway.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:59 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Well if he doesnt want another one but wants to keep having tons of sex knowing ur not on bc, then let him know he needs to wrap it, it wnt be 100% effective & as for him not wanting a 3rd one for a while im sorry it is hurting you, try talking to him about it n see why is it that he desnt want another one, maybe he has good reasons that you havent seen yet.

    Answer by gabby06 at 11:59 AM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Before our son, we wanted three children. Then he was born and we realized how difficult and expensive it is to raise a child. He's now eight and although we both thought we were done, there's been some serious talk about having another. My husband would respect the decision not to have another baby even though he wants one really badly. And I've decided that I'd be happy with or without another.

    This is something you just have to talk about. I don't think he meant to hurt your feelings. Perhaps he's feeling overwhelmed right now. Is there more stress than usual at work? Maybe he just needs time, but if your feelings are hurt, then you should speak to him about it. Don't play the blame game though. Just discuss what's going on and how you're feeling and then ask him how he's feeling about it. Don't interrupt him. Just let him get it out. And then go from there.

    Good luck!

    Answer by zava_t at 12:00 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • You both need to be on the same page with this. Do not "accidentally" get pregnant. Talk about this with your husband and find out why he feels the way he does.

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 12:00 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Did you and your DH agree right away on how many children to have or did one want more and the other didnt?

    Before we started parenthood we said 2-4 which is a range but everyone tells me i will feel complete when im done

    Comment by mommyofone15 (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Dh wants 2, I want 4. So we agreed on 3 pregnancies. If we had twins (my family has an intense history of hyperovulation), then we would have more than 3 children, obviously. It sounds weird that we decided on how many pregnancies rather than kids, but it worked for us. Although right now we only have 1 daughter whos 2.

    Answer by Morgs7531642 at 12:03 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Thanks zava and gabby, we did talk and he just said hes not ready so i have hope that some day yes he will be ready again i just didnt understand the not protecting thing and not wanting another they kinda couteract. there is kind of more stress just because now the 14 mth old wants to play with the 4 yr old and of course the 4 yr is still trying to adapt to that and our 4 yr has had some major attitude problems right i think its just him getting older so of course i see from that why we wouldnt want anymore

    And no i WILL NOT accidently get pg.....i wouldnt only want to actually have another one if he was on the same page.

    Comment by mommyofone15 (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

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