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Are SAHMs just "lucky"?

I am not trying to bash working moms - I work part time myself. But I can't help but notice how many moms use the word "Lucky" to describe SAHMs. Am I the only one irritated by this?

My son is not in daycare and "luck" has nothing to do with it. My husband and I waited to have children until we could afford to do so. We made the choice to purchase a smaller home in a cheaper area so our mortgage would reflect our desire to have our son at home with us. We live a lifestyle with very few frills and luxuries, though we once did when we were both working full time. I am not complaining about these things because we are THRILLED to make these sacrifices for the sake of our family. But having others call our lifestyle a function of luck, instead of a lot of hard work and sacrifice, is insulting.


Asked by getrealmama at 12:16 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I don't consider myself "lucky" because I get to stay home. We aren't rich. We make sacrifices for me to stay home. We don't eat out much. We don't go on dates, to concerts, vacations. We don't have cable. I don't shop at the clothing stores I used to or get my nails done anymore. We don't drive brand new cars. We gave up a lot in order to afford for me to stay home with our children. That's not luck.

    I am grateful that I can be home with the children. I am grateful that I don't have to get up ridiculously early and shuffle people to daycare and then go to work, come home and rush to prepare dinner, help with homework, pack lunches and get up and do it all over again. But grateful is not the same as luck. We made and continue to make smart and responsible choices that allow me to be home with the children.

    Answer by DawnA72 at 1:51 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • It's easier to call it luck than admit they could not or would not make the changes necessary to do so themselves.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:24 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Me personally..

    I do not view myself as "lucky" . I'm thankful that I do not have to work (especially after spending many years in my career field). But luck had nothing to do with me being in this position. Working for years, saving money, investing money, being married for 6 years before having my only child (and being 29 when I had him) and other choices gave me the ablity to be a housewife at this point and time in my life. I'm 47 years old now. Work and planning gave me the ability to stay home, and continue to stay home. Not really "luck".

    It doesn't bother me though when people want to view it as luck or think of me as lucky. If someone else thinks I'm "lucky" hell, maybe I'll actually be luckysomewhere, sometime, in some way ... LOL

    Answer by pixie_trix at 12:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • no you are not the only one, i am insulted by people insinuating i am lucky to be a SAHM... if anything we work harder and sacrifice more then most parents! i was somewhat UNlucky to get pregnant young and have to quit college (well, not HAVE to but i did) and stay home to raise our kids while my husband works full time. sure i could get a job but then we'd have to pay for daycare so we wouldn't be bringing in any more income, kwim? i AM lucky to get to raise my children and watch them grow but that is because we sacrifice to much in order for that to happen, "luck" has nothing to do with it :P

    Answer by DreainCO at 12:19 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I agree with you. My husband and I worked hard to get educations and good jobs, and chose an affordable house so that we could have this lifestyle. I drive a ten-year-old car, we have been planning to replace the couch for three years, we don't go on fabulous vacations, I minimize all sorts of expenses for this. Luck? My ass.

    Answer by SWasson at 12:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I wouldn't call it "luck". My husband works his butt off at his job (working all the OT and DT he can find and his days off) to make sure there is enough left over after paying bills to do things we want with the kids. Next year when he tops out at his job he won't have to work as hard (can't wait). We don't have a lot but it's enough.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I agree with your assessment. We saved, sacrificied, and made lifestyle decisions early on in our marriage so that when kids came into the picture, we had options/choices ... luck had absolutely nothing to do with it.

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 12:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I feel that I am lucky to be a sahm with the economy the way it is. not everyone has the things that you do and still have to work full time. dont take it as an insult take it as a compliment!

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 12:29 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • It is lucky because even if you plan well like you said you did things still can happen where both parents have to work. Accidents, husbands' losing jobs, identity theft, failed markets, etc.

    Answer by keisha613 at 12:18 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • No I am thankfull that I was able to stay home with our children. Hub and I planned it that way. When we had our son, I wasn't working so we never had 2 incomes. When we had our daughter hub was 6 months from getting out of the military and we knew he would get an amazing Job that allowed me to stay home.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2010