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when the pain is too much and wanting to die

there is a lot going on in my life. a current pregnancy scare, my fiancee's brother talking shit about me(trying to get me kicked out of where i live,throwing my past up in the air and not letting it just rest)this girl whom s/o brother is friend's with doing the same dang thing as he is. i get called lazy, saying that i eat everything that is in the fridge, saying that my moving in with them i caused the bill's to skyrocket. there are many demon's and Trauma's in my past that im still living and fighting with that everyday. i feel I'm not worth the love my fiancee give's me, and that he would be better off with out me.the pain on the inside is tearing me apart slowly and more and more everyday and im losing my will to live. im in constant fear. i want to just lay down close my eyes and no longer exist.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Health

Answers (13)
  • I believe you need to step away from everyone for a while. I also think that if you fiancée can't stop his brother from hurting you emotionally, maybe you need to rethink that too. Perhaps you could find a place all you own for a while.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • you know i went through this with my husband s family too before we got married. Not to mention his whole family still dont like me. haha. but i would love to talk more with you and help you. U need to remember you dont have to be a christian to know GOd loves you no matter what you have done. and really that is all that matters anyways.
    momof042010

    Answer by momof042010 at 12:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Do you have children? Don't think about whether your fiance would be better off without you. Think about the children. Think about how terrible it would be for them to lose their mommy and how that would affect them emotionally and mentally. Does your fiance take up for you when these people are mean to you? Because if he just lets them speak that way to you, you should tell him how it makes you feel. And if he still doesn't stand up for you, then maybe you should rethink the relationship. You need someone who will love and support you.

    I know that depression can lead to these feelings of "what if", but please never give in to them. If you want to talk to someone and just have someone listen who will do no judging, please send me a private message and we can chat on meebo or yahoo. Sometimes just knowing that someone will listen and not judge can make you feel stronger.
    zava_t

    Answer by zava_t at 12:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Go to your doctor and talk about it.
    Mommy2Gabrielle

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 12:27 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • mommy2gabrielle: i have no health coverage so i cant
    crouchingmommy

    Answer by crouchingmommy at 12:28 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I've been feeling like that a lot too lately - just overwhelmed with how many steps there seem to be in front of me, between where I'm at and where I want to be . . .
    take a day, get away from everyone, turn off the phone and don't touch the computer. Nap, cry, yell at them all out loud - just vent. And then tell yourself that as crappy as your life is, it is still life, we all have similar bad days and realize that if you stop existing, then this life has beaten you, and you are stronger than you know. Look at all you've overcome already and realize that this is really the last corner to turn before it starts to get better. Don't let all your own hard work be for nothing. Kick your life into submission! you are the boss Queen!
    When your day of venting is over, tell yourself, "ill feel better in the morning" and then when you wake up, find something to look forward to and laugh at - and do that Every day.
    thegoddessofwit

    Answer by thegoddessofwit at 12:29 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • First of all my advice to you is to "NEVER" allow anyone on the face of this planet, to get into your head so bad that you would want to hurt yourself. Life is too precious, and no one is worth you losing that, because you'll never get a second chance. Once your life is gone, its gone. So pull yourself together, and get away from these losers in your life. If they care, they would not be saying these horrible things to you. If you're living in constant fear, then you need to get out of there and find yourself again. Your fiancée is a loser and you my friend need to run away from him fast. If you hurt yourself, do you think his life will stop? NO WAY!!!!!!! He'll move on to some bimbo, and do the same thing all over again. We have this thing in life called ignorance that we deal with from others. I'm a single mom, very successful, have my own home/car, kids happy, and I don't need anyone to assist me. You can do it too.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:30 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Continued:
    There is nothing wrong with you being by yourself for a while, and taking care of "YOU!" Women now are doing it, and we're doing it all by ourselves. We're dominant, strong, and we're holding the fork down at home without a man's financial help. Don't get me wrong, we need a man(for one thing), but we're not playing around. Women all over the country are successful, and maintaining home, responsibilities, and keeping the kids happy. I do it, other moms are doing it, you can do it. Good luck to you, and lose the loser.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 12:34 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I understand I have my own demons to bare. My Dad left me with emotional scars that I am still dealing with because he had his own demons and was verbally abusive.This past year has been hell.My Dad committed Suicide and even though he had his problems he did get help and got better.He left a huge hole in my family.We miss him very much.My husband left me 3 months ago then preceded to threaten me.I am filing for divorce on the grounds of desertion. I have been on an emotional roller coaster since my husband left but I have found myself again have learned so much about myself and have a better understanding of where Dad was coming from. I am seeing a physiologist as well as a physiatrist both of which have helped. I am telling you all of this because I understand where you are coming from,I also understand how hard it is to lose someone who could not go on living. This does not sound like a healthy environment for you.
    KyliesMom5

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 12:38 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Another thing I would like to add is, I'm not perfect either. Honey I've made my mistakes with some of these men out here too, but its the "MISTAKES" that make you smart and want to do right by you. I was in a relationship where I depended on a man for financial help. He constantly threw it up in my face every chance he got. That is when I went back to school, earned my Associates degree, and now working on my bachelors. Educate yourself too, it will help you when you're job hunting. Another thing, not all men are bad, we have good ones out there too. Don't give up on being with someone, but make sure you're standing on the ground with both of your feet. That way you won't need to ask him for anything. There is nothing wrong with depending on "YOU".
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 7:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

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