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Offensive?

Does it bother you if your husband/SO watches porn or reads Playboy? I think its kinda like cheating since their getting off watching another woman. Not to mention a form of Lust. What do you think??

 
Steph319

Asked by Steph319 at 9:51 AM on Oct. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,543 Credits)
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Answers (16)
  • I felt the same way when we were together, we have now been separated for five months, after 8 years of marriage. He moved his new girlfriend in a month after we separated, he is now semi unhappy again because she is not into that stuff either. He used to tell me I was insecure and crazy. We couldn't have sex with out him fantasising about other woman out loud to me. These things are not normal healthy behavior, I believe these kinds of behavoir on your partners behalf are degrading and unexceptable. the vidoes and magazines and vantasies can sometimes become over welming in a relationship, one tendes to feel like if you don't play the part, then your partener wont want you in bed anymore!! We are not crazy, we are people and we do have feelings as humanbeings.

    JazzyJaz771

    Answer by JazzyJaz771 at 11:13 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • I don't like it, I do feel it is demeaning to women and I do find it offensive.  As for is it like cheating, I am on the fence about that .  On one hand yeah, he is watching another woman, but on the other you have to take into consideration that men are "visual" creatures.  I think that as long as he acted out only with me, I don't think it would upset me as much.

    hibicent

    Answer by hibicent at 9:57 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • But if hes with you, why does he need to be visually turned on by someone else? Should you be what hes looking at? and getting off from?
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • You're right. I wouldn't like it my husband doesn't like it either. Have you talked to him about it??
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 9:59 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Yea. He doesnt do it anymore but if i wasnt around im sure he'd have a subs. to playboy or a couple videos laying around! Its something that i wish he wasnt into even if i was ok with it. I know a few guys who were never really into the whole thing so its not like every guy does it. It has just always bugged me :)
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:03 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • He tells me... " EVERY guy does it" He doesnt beleive me when i say otherwise
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:04 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • My husband gets Playboy. It does not bother me in the least. Porn on tv or internet would. I don't see Playboy as dirty porn.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Its still a naked women that isnt you though..
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:12 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • i really dont think that its cheating. but that also depends on the degree of usage. now if he is using it as a substitution for "intimate time" with you, then it should be considered an issue. the way i see it, porn seems like a harmless outlet as opposed to meeting someone at a bar and cheating.
    IGotLuckyInKy

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 10:18 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • And it does not bother me. I am secure in myself and I realize it is not a competition or even about me. I appreciate other men by looking, and although they are not naked it is basically the same thing. I am wondering if you have trust issues and other things going on that are making this into an issue. Men are more visual. It is not like he says--"I'm wishing you were the girl in Playboy right now." If you've seen an R rated movie with any nudity then you are guilty too on a varying level. Still does not irk me. I think when we try to control our spouses that is when there is conflict that grows. Again, I don't support nasty porn, but I've looked at Playboy and it does not offend me personally.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

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