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What would you do with a sister in law trying to be you?

I have a sil who does things I plan on doing or have done it. I say I'm going to get nails done, she does. I get my hair cut, she gets the EXACT hair cut, I'm thinking about getting a tattoo, she gets one. WTH?? I don't think I'm pretty,confident,or someone to look up to. So why is she doing this? It's frustrating!! I don't want to see or talk to her ever. What should I do??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Oct. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • She sees something in you. Take it as a compliment and grow up. Distance yourself from her and quit telling her all your business, then she won't know and can't follow up so fast. As I mentioned, grow up. Life is to short to play these childish games.  You both sound immature. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Maybe she's trying to fit into your family. Being the SIL, maybe she feels left not part of the family yet. Previous poster is right on the money...maybe she see's something in you that she wants to be. That's not the worst thing in the world to be looked up to. Stop telling her what your going to do. Why would you anyway? Why don't you purposfully include her in something that together you can do. Maybe she's just trying to fit into her new family. Cut her some slack though.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • My SIL is the same exact way. It got so bad that eventually i did exactly as the first poster said. I distanced myself and quit telling her things. Now she is doing it to my cousin. She is even in school to become an RN like my cousin. Our relationship is better now, but it took time. So I suggest you try talking to her if you can. Maybe suggest that the two of you go together to get your nails done when you are thinking about having it done. Try to include her in some activities and for other ones, surprise her with it after you do it, like the tattoo. If you take her with you when you get a hair cut, she can't get the same haircut because more than likely, she will be in a chair at the same time. =) It's possible that she is just reaching out to you to strengthen the relationship between the two of you. Maybe offering to do more things with her will help and give her confidence to be herself rather than a wanna-be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • ask her why she's doing it, tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable, and then just dont tell her when you plan on doing something.

    Answer by imanixon2 at 10:58 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • lol start telling her fake stuff you are planning to do. like that you are getting a super short haircut and putting pink streaks in it. or that you are getting a tattoo of something lame. tell her you are getting your nipples pierced. hmmmm what else hurts.... tell her you are getting botoxed and collegen injections in your lips, and getting a brazil wax. tell her you are dressing up like a pig for halloween.
    quit telling her your plans. or give her red herrings then do whatever it is you were thinking of doing.

    Answer by teri4lance at 11:48 AM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • be flattered that she looks up to you so much and go on with your life. She obviously sees you as a great person to look up to, don't be a b**** to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Take it as a compliment, obviously she looks up to you whether you think you are worthy or not. Maybe stop giving her your play by play though.

    Answer by feesharose at 1:11 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • it's flattering at first, but I know people who've had this sort of thing happen - for years, and it never ends. after a while it gets to be a real issue. it might seem sweet at first, but if it doens't stop, it gets to be really creepy.

    Answer by teri4lance at 2:16 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If it bothers you that much tell her about it and try and see why she does this. OR you could tell her your gonna get one of those bog loop piercings under your nose. If she runs out and gets one before you do (wink) you'll know she is seriously obsessing on you. LOL

    Answer by vbruno at 2:52 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

  • Imitation is a form of flattery. Annoying as it may be, ignore it.

    Answer by notjustamom380 at 3:21 PM on Oct. 18, 2008

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