Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do with this relationship?

Tell me this, I have been in a relationship for over 4 years and we have a 2 year old son. Here lately I am not sure whether I still love him or not. I think its mainly because I would like to see what else is out there I wanna be single again. I don't wanna tell him that because I am afraid it will break his heart. I don't know what to do. I don't even like him touching me anymore and I everything he does bothers me. He asks all tha time Do I wanna be with him I am just scared to tell him no. He says we have no passion and that I dont love him anymore but if he is so confident in that why dont he just leave. I stuck in a hard place because like I said I dont wanna be with him, but I dont wanna hurt his feelings neither. I just dont wanna get on down tha road and realize I should have left along time ago. I dont wanna be stuck tha reat of my life. What should I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • END IT THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.
    agriffinmom4

    Answer by agriffinmom4 at 3:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • He has the right to an honest answer if thats how you really feel then tell him. I would rather told the truth than lied to
    lindautz727

    Answer by lindautz727 at 3:24 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • HUN IF HE IS THERE FOR YOUR CHILD MABE YOU GUYS JUST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE AGAIN, WHAT I DO WITH MY 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WHEN WE STOP HAVING SEX AND INTMICY WE HAVE SEX AND MAKE IT GREAT, WE TRY TO KEEP OUR RELATIONSHIP FRESH, WE WILL GO OUT AND YOU KNOW DO THE THINGS U USED TO DO BACK IN THE DAY LIKE HAVE SEX IN THE CAR OR ORAL WHEN IN THE CAR OR OUTSIDE, JUST TRY TO MAKE MEMORIES NEW ONES.... I WILL NEVER LEVE MY BF IF WE ARNT ATTRACTED ANYMORE WE WORK IT OUT AND FIND OUT WHATS BOTHERING US, WE HAVE KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR 4 YEARS WE DATED FOR 5 MONTHS AND TOOK A YEAR APPART THEN DATED AGAIN TILL NOW, I LOVE HIM AND WILL TRY EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO NOT LEVE HIM! IF YOUR MARRIED I DONT BELEVE IN DIVORSE... MARRIED PEOPLE THAT GETS DIVORCES MEANS THEY WERE DUMB FOR GETTING MARRIED!
    MommieOfOnly2

    Answer by MommieOfOnly2 at 3:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • This is somewhat common and VERY normal. The once very strong attraction always fades just a little when kids and hormones enter the picture. This is worth some counseling. There will be times in a relationship when you love each other, and there will be times when you don't like each othewr very much. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you will be happy all of the time. That is unrealistic. If you feel like there is absolutrely NO love left, then don't stay, but I bet there is a place inside you that still loves and respects him.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:36 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Yeah I do love him but Im just not happy anymore like I used to be....I wanna end it on good terms be friends and still let him have every right to see his son whenever he wants but I cant do that if I cant tell him how I feel he gets so emotional just saying it to hisself and I just dont think I can do it anymore he dont help with my son, he does love him and he does help support him but as far as taking care of him or playing with him hes not involved so why should i stick around if i dont want to when i do everything myself anyways ya know. I am only 22 years old and I am going to college and working, so what if I do stick around goto counseling and then 20 years from now I am still unhappy I dont wanna wind up like my mother she hates my dad but put up with him for so many years because of us. I dont want that for my son. Im so confused. I mean what would I tell him I cant hurt his feelings
    gracedaniella

    Answer by gracedaniella at 3:46 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • There you go, you see what your parents marriage is like, and you think your relationship will end up the same. It doesn't have to. This is exactly why people should never stay for the kids.
    You need to sit your boyfriend down and talk with him. Not necessarily tell him exactly how you feel, but tell him that you are unhappy with how the relationship is going, that you are afraid it is heading in the same direction as your mom and dad's, and that is not what you want. Tell him that you expect more from him in terms of his input with your son. Tell him what you expect from him, and what you are willing to change as well. Honestly, what it sounds like to me is 1- you guys are in a rut. It happens. Marriages go in cycles of good times and bad. 2- you see what has become of your parents marriage, and you are self defeating your own relationship in order to keep that from happening. You need to recognize it, and stop it. Cont
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:01 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • 3- you need some guidance. Get some counseling. Work through your issues, then you can work through your relationship issues. But don't throw away your relationship just yet. He doesn't even know what's going on. It's not really fair. Unless he has done something to help damage it, don't hurt him like this. I think you owe it to all 3 of you to try again, and try harder. Don't use your age. That's a cop out. If this relationship really isn't meant to be, you will know. But if you sit and think about it, I think you will see it's really about what you see in your parents.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:05 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • It's really up to you to leave. If he loves you of course he is not going to leave. He is asking you if you still want to be with him and you need to be honest with him and leave or still be honest and try to work it out.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 7:07 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • You are going to hurt him worse the longer you drag it out. If you truly aren't in love him be honest. While it might hurt for a little bit....nothing will compare to the hurt he feel 20 yrs later ...plus life is short. why be miserable and unhappy? Honesty goes along way and in time he will heal. I know I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't love me.GL
    sweetnsassymami

    Answer by sweetnsassymami at 7:32 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • u both agree that u not good together any more. so ask him what he wants to do.. and then choose. im pretty sure he knows u dont want to be with him. guys can sometimes sense thaat.
    jlouise03

    Answer by jlouise03 at 9:27 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN