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3 Bumps

They feel sorry for me???!!! WTF? (rant sorry!)

I hate when I go to the store and people see me with my 3 children(2,1, and 12 days old) and then tell me they feel bad for me! WTF! I love my children with all my heart, and I certainly dont feel bad for myself. Having them was my decision and taking care of them is my responsibility! Honestly if I could go back and do my life over I certainly would still have them, just the way the are, age and all. is this what you guys think when you see a woman with their children, because honestly when I see someone with kids I think of how great it must be!

Answer Question

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 4:19 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I don't think people mean it offensively, but I can understand how it can be annoying to hear that. Honestly, I don't really pay much attention to what anyone else says/think unless their opinion matters to me.

    Answer by zava_t at 4:23 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • unfortunately not all momma's find motherhood as wonderful as you (and i) do. Some moms see diapers, crying, and midnight feedings as a hastle and can't wait for them to be over so when they see you with 3 children that need allot of care they think of thier own feelings. Forget them. You sound like a wonderful mom, if i could have had more kids i would have.

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 4:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I dont think they mean they feel sorry for your having had your children - just having them that close together. You have to admit you have your hands full w/ 3 kids under the age of 3! My boys were 1 1/2 years apart and they were a hand full! My husb is the baby of 9- and I dont know how his mom did it! Enjoy your 3 blessings and ignore the people who piss you off! They will be doing that the rest of your life! :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I had all my kids close together too. And no, most people do not think that, just that they can imagine how stressful several very young kids can be. I had 4 very close together, and so did a friend of mine. One day when I was babysitting for her, I had to take all 8 kids on the bus with me to the mall for the kid park. The folks on the bus felt sorry for me, just because it was obviously quite a challenge.

    Don't give too much thought about what others say. They are actually very impressed that you would dare to take on that much responsibility. (Its a good thing)

    FYI - The wierdest comment I used to get is that when folks knew I had 4 kids, they would ask me if they were all from the same person! Seriously?!?

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 4:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • People are just kidding around; it's completely harmless. I think they're just expressing compassion for you as to how difficult it is to take care of 3 small children. I'm quite certain they have absolutely no idea that you'd be so sensitive about it. Maybe you just have some hormones and/or sleep deprivation going on, but really, this is really not anything to get so upset over.

    Answer by vicesix at 4:25 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Ignore the comments and looks. I am one that says things like that but you have to understand that I am saying it from my perspective. I would not be happy camper if I had to bring 3 kids by myself anywhere. I love my kiddos but they are special and tiring to bring into public. I have two and could not imagine ever adding a third. You are doing a great job and sound like a really good mom.

    Answer by ashisamom at 4:31 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I had my three kids 2 years apart. I see moms with kids close together and no I don't feel sorry for them but I do think it must be challenging. Sometimes, I wish mine were closer together in terms of playing well together and sharing interests.

    Answer by bookworm23 at 4:31 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I'm not really upset just annoyed. I suffered 2 miscarriages before my 1st and was told my chances of having kids were slim, so I am very grateful to have them and it annoys me when people view it with pity rather than joy. And no I'm not sleep deprived, if I were I'd nap during the day, which I do not. My daughters sleep great and my son is already starting to sleep for 5hrs at night! Yes its stressful at times, mainly because my df works out of state, but I love to care for my children! its absolutely the most rewarding thing in the world!!

    Comment by SabrenaLeigh (original poster) at 4:32 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • oh and I like to stay busy because it keeps my mind of my df, who works out of state and only gets 4 days off at the end of a 28 day work period!

    Comment by SabrenaLeigh (original poster) at 4:33 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Congratulations to you on your lovely children after having been through 2 miscarriages. But you must keep in mind that people don't know that when they joke around about feeling sorry for you. I seriously don't think they're trying to hurt your feelings, and I hope for YOUR sake, you can see it that way too, just so you don't have to get upset every time someone says it. I honestly think they're just giving you "props" for doing a very tough job :)

    Answer by vicesix at 4:37 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

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