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6 Bumps

How do I go about searching for my brother who was adopted?

I have been looking at online sites such as people finder, but I only have his birth name and date. I am not sure where else to look.

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Asked by CRCruz at 6:53 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • First it depends on how old he is... Finding a birth family member can be very difficult and time consuming (and very expensive if you don't know legally where to go- some online sites want $$, so be careful) . One of the fist steps is to go to the courts where he was adopted and fill out a form (this may cost you some $$, I do not know how much tho'). My brother is going thru this to find his birth family currently too as we were adopted. Then, from there, the courts try to locate the last known address of the person you are looking for. Then, they contact them or their parents, letting them know they are being sought for. They then have to go to the courts too and fill out the form for you to get in contact. You can go thru your family if they are helpful, the internet if you can find him and have enough info. I found my birth family... All of them (mom, dad, sibs, 1/2 sibs, and step-sibs)

    Answer by Anidawehiwahya at 9:44 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Honestly Facebook ! My sister found her boyfriends whole family and he was adopted ! Try using birth name first , then if not possibly first and narrow down by area of where he was adopted from . Good luck !!!

    Answer by mamahol at 9:45 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Just be willing to tread uncharted waters. They may not want to be found. My bio dads side of the family does not accept us as true blood relatives on their genealogy family tree because I and all the rest of his (my bio dads kids- all 11 of us) were all adopted. Wishing you good luck.. My adoptive family helped me... I hope that you can find him and that it is what you are looking for. Just remember, adults are not the same as children, and may not want to be part of a family they have left behind. They may have mentally moved on. Some of my sisters have, and I will never meet them. They want nothing to do with us... Just prepare yourself for either way... As I said before.. beware of scams, and good luck...

    Answer by Anidawehiwahya at 9:49 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Go to the courts if you know.

    I just found my brother but my 3 sisters and i were taken and he came after we all had new families. It's sad how kids don't get to grow up together

    Answer by Smiley001 at 11:15 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Thank you everyone for your help. My mom and I will be making a trip to his birth city real soon. Wish us luck!

    Comment by CRCruz (original poster) at 9:10 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • I agree with mamahol, try Facbook.

    Answer by BrandonsMom1000 at 11:38 AM on Sep. 19, 2010

  • If you live in Canada, some of the provinces have open records. Facebook is always good too, but you will need his adoptive name. I found my daughter first shot on facebook 2 1/2 years ago. If your mom used an agency, she can call it and asked if contact can be made through them as an intermediary.
    Good luck!!

    Answer by vampporcupine at 2:29 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • Your profile says you live in MI. This is a listing of search/support groups there. Network with them, (and the area where the adoption was finalized if its in another state).
    IMO- search/support groups are the BEST place to start. Many members there have already searched, more are searching. they know the in's and out's of (law) and searching. Also- a great place for the emotional support needed before/during/after a search.

    Answer by adopteeme at 4:46 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • also wanted to say I think its great your Mom is on board with a search! Many states do NOT recognize siblings searching, and will not offer help or even give non-identifying info to a sibling. Guess its the whole 'protect birthmothers promise' rrgh!

    give your mom a hug! I WISH my mom had searched for me!

    Answer by adopteeme at 4:54 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

  • I used a state appointed intermediary. It is an avenue to take if the state has such a program available, BUT- it does not always work!
    Most times there is a fee you must pay upfront in full. And its possible you may wind up with nothing more than a canceled check. Thats how mine ended- I wasn't even privy to ASK or have anyone confirm just WHAT they did to earn the money.

    My advice- save your money! Try searching on your own with help from other triad members first!
    Being an intermediary is a J.O.B. - they will not put extra energy or burn the midnight oil into your search and contact like you and your mother would! Don't (at first) allow a 3rd party/paid stranger take away your right and ability to make first contact the way you see best.

    Answer by adopteeme at 5:17 AM on Sep. 23, 2010

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