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do you ever feel unappreciated because you're a sahm?

my so always asks me what i did all day when he gets off work. we have an 11 month old son. who i take care of while he works. we can't afford daycare and we don't have anyone to babysit him so i have to be a sahm. he has told me that it's easy taking care of our son all by myself all day. he doesn't appreciate what i do. does anyone else feel like this with their so/dh?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My hubby will come home and ask the same question, not because I am unappreciated, but because he is genuinely interested in my day. There have been times where I have questioned his appreciation for me and my contribution to our family and I have also expressed those feelings to him. And, what I had to learn and realize was that he does not have to come home and sing my praises or give me a 'atta girl' in order for me know that he appreciates me and vice versa.

    If you are feeling unappreciated, let him know. Let him know how his comments make you feel. You may just find that underneath it all, you are very appreciated. I know I did!


    Answer by MommyMica at 9:47 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Well, I'm a sahm to an 11 month old too, lol. Some days I do, but my husband doesn't intend to make me feel that way. It's just that he's always saying that "I have the life", and I do, but...I don't think he realizes that it's not always so easy. I don't lay around all day...he should be able to tell that by our clean house, dinner being ready, and the fact that my son wants me ALL the time, lol.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 8:04 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Years ago when my boys were little, my husband would say things like that. If dinner was behind, or the house wasn't picked up, he'd want to know what I did all day. Then, just after I gave birth to our youngest he was laid off for several months. He saw how crazy my life could be, and that even though I was always happy to be a stay at home mom, it wasn't easy.

    When he finally found a new job, if he came home and the house was all clean and dinner was on the table, he knew I'd had a fairly easy day, and if they house was a mess and dinner wasn't started, he knew I'd had a really hard day with the kids, and he'd offer to get a pizza or something to help out.

    We've been married 22 years, our youngest is 18, and he has never said those things again, in fact, usually he tells me that he knows my job is harder than his, and that he appreciates how I take care of things. (I have to admit my job is a lot easier now!)

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:16 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Sorry,correct me if I'm wrong,but I would think if you were married to this guy he would treat you different.You have nothing to prove your love in your relationship.When a man bends down and proposes to you,I think he respects you and loves you more than lets move in together and have a baby.My husband nagged at me for awhile so it goes both ways,I think they are jealous of us,I mean we have a great life,being our own boss,doing our own thing,we can clean the house when we want to and sit on our butt and watch soap operas at lunch time,something I never did but I hear alot of women do.These are precious days with your child,you can have so much fun and teach them so much,enjoy this time,don't let your so mistreat you,you work hard doing what your doing,but it gets easier as they get older.You can teach your child almost anything like the preschools/daycare teach,check out some books on-line,do felt stories,sing songs+crafts.

    Answer by countingsparows at 8:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I know I felt unappreciated when I was a stay at home mom. My ex hubby would make comments about me sitting on my ass all day watching TV. I wish.
    Now I work full time, PLUS do all the cooking and cleaning. (Hubby works 12 hour days, 5 days a week, not ideal, be he IS looking for a new job) I know it's appreciated, but I feel exhausted.

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:21 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Hmmm if he feels it is so 'easy' maybe early one saturday morning you should hand baby to SO and say "Here, since you think it is so easy YOU DO IT! Oh and by the way here is list of all the chores I do around the house....better get cracking and have it all done by the time I get home! And then tell me what it is like...."

    Answer by MizLee at 8:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I used to feel that way, but my DH has been out of work for a year now and has been home with us since then. He spends most of his time doing schoolwork and looking for a job, so I still run the house 95% of the time. But it's given him the chance to see just how hard my job is, and just how infuriating/exhausting/frustrating it can be! He doesn't make comments about it being "easy" anymore. LOL

    I think if your DH had to stay home with your son all day (even for one day) he would change his tune quickly! I'm sorry you don't feel appreciated. :( Just remember that you are doing the most important job of all!!

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 8:37 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I did but now that I am a working mom for the past 3 years I still feel unappreciated so Im no help to this post lol .

    Answer by mamahol at 9:35 PM on Sep. 17, 2010