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Have you ever had a friend that shocked you once you found he/she is gay

I have a male friend that is very attractive...he is a platonic friend. However, It really hurt me and disappointed me when I found out through mutual friends that he is gay. It doesn't change my friend status with him, but it bothers me. I am being honest so please don't bash me for honesty. I am in a longterm relationship with a man. Therefore, I wasn't looking at him as a potential partner. Yet, in the back of my mind, I always thought he would make a great model and attractive husband ( to a women) for someone. Has this ever happened to anyone? I am just curious. No bashing please. Please elaborate on your experience with this. ...not anyone that want to pull me apart. Thanks.

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Godswk

Asked by Godswk at 9:22 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (282 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I HAVE MANY GAY FRIENDS AND I LOVE ALL OF 'EM...A PERSON IS A PERSON NO MATTER WHAT TO BE GAY IS NOTHING OUT OF THIS WORLD...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 9:26 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Nope. Sexual orientation is none of my business.

    You should try and look at it this way... I understand why you would feel disappointed (I disagree with it, but that is another thread), but in the role you just described he would be unhappy. You should always take a step back and reevaluate YOUR own situation, and how others might feel about it, before you draw conclusions about any one else. :)
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:38 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Are you disappointed because he's gay or because you didn't hear it from him? All my gay male friends, I had an inkling before I was told, or it was just obvious. I'm not bashing you but if you're disappointed because he's gay, unfortunately there's nothing you can do about that, except continue being his friend. Sexual orientation shouldn't determine whether or not you are friends with him. If you're disappointed because you didn't hear it from him, I can understand that especially depending on how good of friends you are with him,
    dlandrum

    Answer by dlandrum at 9:49 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • I went out with this French speaking Swiss guy in college a few times. We would go to the museum on Wednesday nights and walk around. He would write down words he saw on the placards but didn't understand and then we would go get a few drinks at a swanky hotel and talk "en Francais" about his new vocabulary words. Very sexy. But after the 2nd or 3rd time he hadn't made any moves on me, he just kept asking me out, so I finally said "is this a date"? He told me no. He couldn't possibly date me. Why? I asked because...you guessed it, he was gay! Well we kept our weekly dates and then we had one more topic to discuss...men! That's the only time I was surprised. Other than that I knew when my friends were gay, sometimes before they did!
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 3:51 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Thanks in advance only to the people who may come here and answer my question. It hasn't been answered yet. I never siad I'll stop being a friend to a gay person, or judge. I just wanted to know if anyone was shocked when they found out. I was shocked and disappointed because I didn't realize it. I am a photographer and has shown him pretty pictures of beautiful women that I've done. I hope someone can relate to me here. Know one has thus far.
    Godswk

    Comment by Godswk (original poster) at 10:46 PM on Sep. 20, 2010

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