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3 Bumps

How can I get my husband to forgive my cheating?

I had an affair, he found out because he said that I had been acting very different and went through my cell phone. Now I am about to lose him and I don't know what to do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would say that you will have to ask yourself the real reason for infidelity! Because you will need to figure out the root of the cause! Why did you cheat? Once you can answer this, you will need to forgive yourself on top of deal with the reason for infidelity. Do a lot of praying! Ask your husband for forgiveness, but allow him time to heal as well! Also, consider counseling...this can help you to heal together and help create another bond! If this does not work, PRAY some more! Good Luck!
    ARDYSSLADY

    Answer by ARDYSSLADY at 9:46 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Well , their is nothing you really could do . You will be paying for this one time cheating for the rest of your life ,if you stay with him. If you really value your marriage at the time you would not be going through this right now .
    Blue1212

    Answer by Blue1212 at 9:46 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Well you can not blame him which I know you know that already, It could take years for him to trust you again. I do not know why you would do this to somebody. If I were him I do not know If I could ever trust you again but that is just me. I do not want to judge you. I will leave my answer at that.
    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 9:43 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • it's going to be a very long hard journey to get to where you want to be with him again. accept the fact that your realtionship/friendship/love will NEVER be the same as it was before you cheated. that being said, it CAN be "fixed". PM me if you want, i can add more.
    mywonderyears

    Answer by mywonderyears at 9:45 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Don't cheat in the first place, then you don't need your husband to forgive you for anything
    BradensMom1026

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 9:48 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • you need to explain to him why you had the affair and if you still love him tell him you would like to work it out if he still loves you, and you know he is mad and hurt and it will take time to forgive and time for the hurt to go away, but you will do you best to make him feel loved and he is the only one for you.
    ypu need to do what ever you can to make him feel better and if he asks for time away from you give it to him.
    i hope your can forgive you.
    mine has, but he still can not forget. it was a year 1/2 ago and he is still hurt. he is slowly healing but still does not trust me.
    i hope you can save your marriage good luck.
    also try counsling.
    jlouise03

    Answer by jlouise03 at 9:49 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • IF he forgives you it will be a long time. think of how you would feel if he cheated? would be easy to forgive? of course not. it takes time. you have to realize you hurt him and your marriage deeply. maybe he will forgive you maybe not. you should figure out why you cheated in the first place. the trust won't ever be the same.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 9:59 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't understand why people cheat.
    Aren't we adults? Can't we just approach each other and say 'hey listen...I'm not in this anymore.' or 'you need to make me feel like a woman/man'?
    Personally, I would never be able to forgive someone who cheated. I've always left the cheaters in my life and I will always continue.
    If my husband did that to me we'd be over and done with.
    You need to evaluate why you did this.
    And this isn't about you anymore. This is about the man you married and broke that vow. You are not a victim, he is.
    Mrs.Halloween

    Answer by Mrs.Halloween at 10:01 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • There is nothing you can do to make him forgive you. It comes with time surrounding your future actions.......Ask yourself this "Why should he stay with you? What do you have that is so great that would make a man after being disrespected by his wife stay? It sounds harsh but if you come up with reasons Y he needs to be with you then do all you can but honestly if he found out by looking in your phone it doesnt seem like something you were really trying to hide maybe you should just let him go.......
    Ahh..Motherhood

    Answer by Ahh..Motherhood at 10:20 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • You both need to sit down and talk about why you had the affair, what you can do to fix it, IF he wants to try and fix it. Remember, you did this, not him. If he forgives you, he will never forget and the trust level will NEVER be the same that it was before the affair was brought to light.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 12:05 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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