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my bff used to be self confident and now she is a door mat. help??

ok my best friend was an awesome sefl confident women who never let people get away wiht anything, when she got married her hubby cheated on her and she turned to the bible for answers. she told me (god said spouses who commited adultry u could divorce) well for 3 years she been with this guy and hes gone from cheatn on her, to gay porn to leaving her. she has 1 kid and is pregnant w his second. she says she wont be with him, and wont divorce him.
she wont be wiht another man or look for one while shes still married.
she says on judgement day she wants to stand before god and say she tried her best she was never a door mat before she turned to the bible and her church. i support her no matter what, but i dont agree w her decisions.
she cant make her hubby stop if her doesnt want to. but she wont kick him to the curb even though she likes someone else who wants to be w her. her dh said he dont want to be w her

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Sep. 17, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (8)
  • i support her no matter what, but i dont agree w her decisions.

    As hard as it is to see her making a choice you think will make her unhappy in the long run, the choice is still hers to make. Yes, on Biblical grounds she could divorce him (Mat 5:21) but you would be more loving and loyal to support her and make her choice as easy as possible. Mat 19:6 "...what God has yoked together let no man put apart.”

    She may later change her about her husband or even he may change. But it would be a poor friend who was determined to get us go beyond our conscience.

    1Peter 2:19 For if someone, because of conscience toward God, bears up under grievous things and suffers unjustly, this is an agreeable thing. 20 For what merit is there in it if, when YOU are sinning and being slapped, YOU endure it? But if, when YOU are doing good and YOU suffer, YOU endure it, this is a thing agreeable with God.


    Answer by LadyLooJW at 9:49 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • There is nothing you can do. You gave her the advice and now all you can do is just wait it out. Hopefully she will begin to turn into the person you knew. If her husband does not want to be with her, maybe he'll divorce her and she'll be able to move forward then.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:53 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • let me clarify, it's not the churches decision that she does this, it's HER decision. It's what she believes and wants to do. maybe there is more to it than what you know. normally there always is. maybe she still loves him and doesn't want to leave him, maybe she's really deep down afraid to leave and be on her own as a single mom. some people keep things even from their best friends. hope she gets away from him soon though, before she gets even more hurt. :(

    Answer by armywife43 at 10:29 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • she wont be wiht another man or look for one while shes still married....she wont kick him to the curb even though she likes someone else who wants to be w her. ---

    well, apparently, she did look!

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:48 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

  • just be there for her is all I can say I don't understand alot of the things people choose to do but if I love them I stand beside them if what they are doing isn't hurting anyone.

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 1:34 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • That's her choice, you should respect it.

    Answer by Gal51 at 11:15 AM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Your friend is going thru a lot right now... and she is depending and holding onto her beliefs to help her...
    You as her friend have given her your thoughts on it... now be there for her and her children...
    Right now she is hurting, most likely feeling betrayed by the man who vowed to be with her until the end...
    Just be there... be her shoulder when she needs it... in time the hurt will fade and her eyes will clear and
    she will come around... but the choice of her not wanting to be with another is and always will be HER choice...

    Answer by gmasboy at 12:17 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

  • Honestly, she's better off not finding someone else for a while anyway. Going from a marriage directly into another relationship like that isn't healthy...learning to be on her own, concentrating on raising her children is a good thing.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:38 PM on Sep. 18, 2010

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